Nothing But A Memory
by MoonWarriors
Summary: Serenity Dawn was best friends with Big Time Rush when she was six. But after a tragic mishap at her birthday party, she is taken away from them. Ten years later, she shows up at L.A. with no memory of the boys and carrying the burdens of a dark past.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I'm back:) Sorry for lack of updates on My Previously Happy Ending but I haven't been getting any review on that so I never really wanted to update.. heh heh... So anywayss this is the story that I had the OC Contest for a while ago and I just never got around to uploading it so here it is :) Enjoy!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. I only own my OC, Serenity. Other OC's are owned by their creators!**

**Chapter 1**

_10 years ago; James's POV_

"Happy birthday to you," we finished singing.

"Make a wish and blow out the candles, Serenity," her mom smiled. Serenity took a deep breath, made a wish, and blew out all six candles on the cake.

"What'd you wish for?" I asked.

"I can't tell you, silly Jamie," she laughed, ruffling my hair, which caused me to pout. "Then my wish won't come true!"

"Time to open presents!" Serenity's dad grinned, charging into the room carrying all her presents.

"Open ours first!" Carlos grinned, exposing the gap in his smile where he lost his two front teeth.

"Okay," Serenity smiled, ripping open the presents. Inside were four charms. Each was half of a "Best Friends" charm. On the back of each of them, our names were carved.

Carlos gave Serenity a monkey head charm. Logan gave her a book shaped charm. Kendall's charm was a bird with its wings outstretched. And mine was a heart.

"Your names are on the back!" Serenity exclaimed, her ice blue eyes sparkling.

"I want to see how it looks," she grinned, racing up the stairs after her mom helped her put the bracelet on. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and I smiled to each other in satisfaction.

But moments later, a shrill scream filled the air.

"Serenity!" her mom gasped in fear.

All the adults raced upstairs; the kids (namely, Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Serenity's brothers, David and Matt, and myself) looked at each other, trying to figure out what had happened.

"No!" Serenity's mom screamed.

"Mom?" Serenity's eight-year-old brother, David, called.

"Mommy!" her seven year old brother, Matt, called, running up the stairs. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and I raced up the stairs after them. We ran into Serenity's room and found her mom kneeling on the floor, crying.

"Mommy, what happened?" Matt asked.

"Your sister. S-she's gone," she sobbed. In her hand was the purple ribbon that was tied in Serenity's hair.

Her dad entered the room, his eyes red with tears.

"I've called the police. They're on their way," he choked out.

Minutes later, the police arrived and took us out of the room. We waited for minutes wondering what had happened.

"Boys, your parents are here; we'll make sure to let you know if we ever find out what happened to Serenity," a police officer said. The guys and I nodded and followed our parents out the door, still unsure of what had happened.

The police spent weeks searching for our best friend, but never found any traces. Soon, she was pronounced dead. We were told that, although her life was short, she lived a good one. Being six years old, the four of us didn't quiet understand what had happened to our best friend; we didn't understand death. As we grew older, we began to understand that Serenity wasn't coming back. We never took off our charm bracelets with the other half of the charms we had given her on it. Although Serenity was pronounced dead and we had been told to accept it and let her memory live on inside of us, we held onto that last bit of hope that she was still alive. Still out there. Somewhere.

**So what'd you think? The other OC's are going to be introduced in the next chapter which will be uploaded soon if I get reviews:) *hint hint* haha be sure to read My Previously Happy Ending too! **

**Review button's right down there :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thank you sooo much for the reviews! They really mean a lot:) So this chapter introduces the OC's. Enjoy!:)**

**I only own my OCs, Serenity, Arielle, and partially Lizzy. I got the idea for this plot from Blast From the Past by FlameHeart2013. (But it's not the same story! It may seem like it at first but not later on!) which is actually a pretty good story. Other OC's belong to fabuluslyfamous, If life was a movie, and AveryPotterFangirl.**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 2**

_Present Day; Serenity's POV_

I woke up screaming for the third night in a row. Tears poured down my cheeks as shrill screams escaped my lips.

"Serie, relax; you're ok," my best friend, Elizabeth, said, sitting next to me.

"Serenity, it's ok. No one can hurt you," my friend, Sydney said.

"Serenity, this is the third time in a row you've woken up screaming. Are you sure you don't want to talk to somebody?" my other friend, Scarlet, asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Are you ok, dear?" Arielle asked, coming in my room. Arielle was out "Mother" in a sense; at least, that's what we called her in the orphanage.

The four of us- Elizabeth, Scarlet, Sydney, and myself- were called the perfect group of friends. We didn't grow up with the most perfect life and we each had our own, unique, messed up story to share if we pleased.

For example, when Scarlet was eleven, her father died. Then, her brother, Jon, died in service. After the death of her brother, she went to mental care four times. Eventually, her mother was re-married to a man named Darrek, who thought he could just walk in and think he was her new dad. When Scarlet was fourteen, Darrek killed her mom. After that, she was sent to our orphanage.

Elizabeth was given up as a baby. She had no memory of who her parents were or what they looked like. Arielle said she found Lizzy in a basket in the alley next to the orphanage. She said that if Elizabeth wasn't such a crier as a baby, she could've died in that alley.

Sydney's parents died in a house fire when she was seven and was sent to an orphanage. When she was fourteen, she ran away from her abusive foster family after living with them for four months. She got in trouble with the law and got involved in gangs. But when a rival gang killed her only friend in the gang, a girl named Lindsey, she knew she had to get out. She got her life back on track when she met Scarlet, Lizzy, and me.

As for me, I was kidnapped when I was six. I had no memory of my life before I was kidnapped. Arielle says it could be because my kidnapping was so traumatic, I can't remember anything before it happened. When I was twelve years old, I managed to run away and never look back. I found myself on the steps of the orphanage and was welcomed with open arms. But running away wasn't the last of my kidnapper. For nearly four years, I've had nightmares about the kidnapper finding me. It's the same every time. I see him coming for me; laughing with the same wicked laugh, smiling with his same evil smile.

"I'm ok," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes and forcing a smile. "Just a bad dream; no big deal."

"Are you sure?" Arielle asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine. Sorry I woke you guys up."

"Ok," Scarlet said slowly. "Well I'm going to bed. Wake me up if you need anything, 'Kay?"

"Okay," I answered. "You guys go to bed too."

Elizabeth, Sydney, and Arielle nodded and retreated back to bed. I lay back down and pulled the blankets up to my chin. I rolled over and stared at the moon through the window. Half of me was still terrified from the nightmare and told me to look away; he'd come for me; he'd show up in the window and take me away. But the other half of me told me it was only a nightmare. He wasn't coming for me. He would have found me by now if he was.

Reluctantly, I fell back asleep, only to wake up a few hours later to the sunlight streaming through the window.

Minutes later, Elizabeth, Sydney, and Scarlet woke up and the four of us got ready for another day of school.

Scarlet, our true "ginger," had her hair down and was wearing skinny jeans and a cardigan. She wore a thin layer of mascara around her dark brown eyes.

Elizabeth had cropped silvery blonde hair and dark brown highlights. She wore eyeliner around her brown eyes.

Sydney had her black hoodie on, which she rarely took off. Her hood was pulled over her head so you could barely see her blonde hair.

I had my long black hair down and curled. I put on a faint layer of black eyeliner around my ice blue eyes. I wore dark skinny jeans and a plain white v-neck and my charm bracelet on my wrist. I vaguely remembered getting my charm bracelet. It was a birthday present from my best friends at the time, but because I was suffering from memory loss from before my sixth birthday party, I couldn't remember their names or what they looked like. All I had of their names were what was carved in the back of the charms.

On the back of the monkey was "Car." On the back of the book was "gan." On the back of the bird was "dall," and on the back of the heart was "Ja."

"Let's go girls," Arielle said cheerfully. Her long dirty blonde hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she wore blue eyeliner around her hazel eyes.

We piled in her car and arrived at school for another long, boring day. The hours dragged on slowly and all I could think about was my nightmare. Finally, the final bell rang and I met up with my three friends. While walking home, we laughed about a guy's cheesy attempt at flirting with Lizzy.

We walked through the door to find Arielle sitting at the table, worry painted across her face. Putting down our backpacks, we quietly cleared all the little kids out of the room before confronting Arielle about whatever was bothering her.

"What's wrong, Ari?" Sydney asked, after all the kids were gone.

"Pack your bags, girls," Arielle said, standing up.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"We need to get you away from here for a while," she said, handing me a letter.

"What's this?" I asked slowly, opening the letter.

I curiously read the note, nearly freezing when I saw the handwriting.

_"Poor, silly, stupid Ugly Duckling. You thought you could escape me, didn't you? You set a bad example; your dear friend escaped days after you. Then my wife and daughter left me. But now, I've found you. And I'm coming for you."_

I gripped the note with a shaky hand as chills ran down my spine.

"We do need to get out of here," I whispered shakily. I dropped the note on the table and raced up the stairs to pack my stuff.

Just after I got my suitcase out, my three friends walked in, grabbing their suitcases without a word.

"I booked a flight for tomorrow morning at seven. I hope you girls don't mind the early morning flight," Arielle said, nearly an hour later.

"Not at all," I answered, packing the last of my things.

"Where are we going?" Lizzy asked.

"You girls are going to L.A.," Arielle said.

"It'll have to do," Lizzy sighed dramatically.

"Wow," Sydney said, rolling her eyes playfully.

"Make sure you guys get some rest tonight. You've got an early morning tomorrow," Arielle said.

After finishing our homework and making sure everything was packed, we headed off the bed, where we all drifted off to sleep quickly.

But my nightmare was worse than ever that night. It was so real; I heard his voice, felt his breath on my neck. When I woke up screaming, tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"Sh, sh, sh, it's ok, sweetie," Arielle said, sitting next to me.

"I-it was so r-real," I whispered shakily, clinging to her for dear life.

"It's ok. He can't hurt you."

"I know. I'm sorry I woke you up," I said, wiping the tears from my cheek.

"It's ok, sweetie. Don't worry about it. You'll be in L.A. tomorrow," she answered. After making sure I was ok and had stopped crying, Arielle left. After staring at the blank ceiling for what seems like forever, I finally fell asleep.

"What do you mean you're not coming with us?" I asked, half-screaming.

"I have other kids in the orphanage, you know," Arielle laughed.

"Still!" Scarlet exclaimed.

"Who's going to watch us in L.A.?" I questioned.

"I trust you girls," Arielle said, a smirk on her face.

"We'll be fine on our own," Sydney promised, pulling her hood up.

"Yeah," Scarlet agreed.

"Bye, Arielle," I sighed, giving her a hug.

"Bye, girls. I expect updates from you!"

"Ok," we smiled. With that, we walked through security and impatiently waited for our flight.

**So what'd you think? I've got to say, I really enjoy writing this story:) In your reviews, feel free to say your favorite parts of the story so far or parts you thought were well written :) Until next time.. ;)**

**To AveryPotterFangirl, you're OC will appear later on in the story:) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this chapter took so long, but I was at camp all last week and had no internet access:(But here's the third chapter of Nothing But A Memory. Now to meet the boys! Enjoy!  
>I do not own Big Time Rush or Sydney, Scarlet, or (the character who will come later in the story) Nikki. <strong>

**I only own Serenity and half of Lizzy. The idea for this story belongs to FlameHeart2013, however the story will turn out differently. **

**Ok now enjoy!:) **

**Chapter 3**

Hours later, we finally arrived at the Palm Woods Hotel in Los Angeles.

"This place is huge," Lizzy observed.

"No, really," Scarlet agreed, too amazed to put any sarcasm in the comment.

"Let's go check in," Sydney said, ushering us towards the check-in desk.

"Excuse me?" I asked shyly to the man behind the desk.

"Hello and welcome to the Palm Woods. How may I help you," he asked in monotone.

"We'd like to check in," Lizzy said politely.

"Name?" he asked. We all looked at each other.

"Who's name is it under?" Scarlet whispered.

"I don't know," Sydney whispered.

"Um, Serenity Cooper," I said, guessing it would be mine.

"There you are. You're room is 2H. Have a Palm Woods day," he said, handing us each a room key.

"Thank you, Mr. Bitters," I said, taking the keys. He rolled his eyes and returned to eating his sandwich.

We headed to the elevators and pressed the button for the second floor.

None of us were paying attention to where we were walking, which would explain why we ran into a _very_ big guy.

"Sorry," he said.

We all looked up at him with wide eyes. Sydney pulled her hood up farther, which the rest of us just looked up at him nervously.

"I'm really not that scary," he said.

"Sorry," I said shakily. "Um, w-what's your name?"

"They call me 'Freight Train'," he said.

"Oh goodness," Scarlet whispered.

"Nice to meet you, Freight Train," Lizzy said nervously.

"Really, I'm not that scary!" he said.

"Sorry," I apologized again.

"So are you staying here?" Scarlet asked.

"No. I'm standing guard for Big Time Rush."

"Who?" I asked, arching my eyebrow.

"A band. They have to finish working on a song before they can go to the pool. It's my job to make sure they finish."

"Cool," I said. "Well, excuse us. We should probably go unpack."

We all nervously mumbled our goodbye's and started to quickly walk away.

"You know, you guys should meet the guys. I think you'd like them," Freight Train called after us.

"Good to know! Thanks!" I called back. We all ran to our room, running right past it.

We only stopped when we nearly ran into a wall.

"I think we passed our room," Scarlet whispered.

"No really!" Sydney answered sarcastically.

"Come on, my sarcastic friends," I said, rolling my eyes. We finally found our room and nearly collapsed in the rooms. Lizzy and I were in one room and Scarlet and Sydney were in the room right next to us. At the end of the hall was an empty room that we were going to us as a music room, and another empty room was across the hall from Scarlet and Sydney. We planned to use that room as a guest room if Arielle were to visit us. The bathroom was across the hall from Lizzy and myself.

"Let's sleep some before we go do stuff," I suggested, rubbing my eye sleepily.

"Good idea," Lizzy yawned, retreating to our room.

"How about we sleep for, say, two hours then head to the pool?" Scarlet suggested.

"Sounds good," Sydney agreed.

"Ok. Sleep well, girls," I said, before retreating to my room, where Lizzy was already fast asleep.

In the two hours I was asleep, I relived my kidnapping. I saw my old room- or what I remembered of it- and admiring my bracelet in the mirror. A figure dressed in black silently crept into my room. Next thing I know, I'm being hauled through the trees, never to see my friends and family again.

I awoke with a start, seconds before the alarm went off.

"Pool time!" Lizzy exclaimed.

"Goodness gracias, Lizzy. We just woke up," I groaned.

"Pool time," she growled. I looked at her wide-eyed, pretending to be scared.

"You girls up yet?" Scarlet asked.

"The alarm just went off!" I exclaimed.

"Get ready for the pool!" Lizzy called.

"Kay-kay," Scarlet said. I fell back down in bed, covering my face in my hands.

"Are you ok?" Lizzy asked.

"I'm fine," I muttered.

"No you're not. What's wrong?"

"Just another dream."

"Same as the others?"

"No," I trailed off.

"What happened?"

"I relived my kidnapping," I muttered.

"Oh gosh. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. It's in the past. Nothing I can do now."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine. Let's get ready for the pool," I smiled.

Minutes later, the four of us were changed and sitting at the kitchen table.

"Are we waiting for any one?" Scarlet asked, raising her eyebrow. The four of us were all waiting silently at the kitchen.

I got up. "Nope. Sorry, zoning. Let's go."

Being the over acheiver I was, I brought my textbooks down to the pool to get ahead on my homework before I went swimming. When one of my books was slippin, I looked down to fix my grip. Unfortunately, while I was looking down. I ran into someone, causing me to drop all of my books.

"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry," I said, bending down to pick up my books.

"No, it's my fault. I wasn't looking," he said, putting a hand-held mirror on the ground before helping me pick up my books. I bumped my head on his when we reached for the same textbook at the same time.

"Oh, goodness. I'm sorry; I'm such a klutz," I blushed, laughing lightly.

"No worries," he answered.

"Um, thanks," I said after all the books were picked up.

"No problem. Hey, why don't you ditch the books and hang with me?" he asked, flashing me a dazzling smile.

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I bit my lip and glanced over at my friends. Each of them were smiling, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Uh, sure," I grinned.

"That's a cool charm bracelet," he said, acknowledging the bracelet gracing the arm that was holding my hair back. "Those charms look really familiar. Can I see?"

Confused as to what he was saying, I held my wrist out so he could look at my bracelet.

His shiny brown hair fell gently over his hazel eyes as he observed the bracelet.

His eyes went wide.

"Serenity?" he asked, half-whispered.

I nodded slowly. "H-how did you know?"

"It's me: James," he answered.

"James?" I asked, looking at the back of the heart-shaped charm: "Ja." James held out his wrist, which had a similar looking charm bracelet with a heart-shaped charm. He connected the two hearts, which fit perfectly.

I pulled my wrist away, cradling it against my chest.

"How do I know you?" I asked.

"Y-you don't remember me?"

I shook my head.

"We used to be best friends. Then you were taken away from us at your sixth birthday party," he said quietly.

"Now _that_ part I remember," I said. "It's everything before then that I can't. People, school, home, nothing."

"Let me get the guys," James said. "Maybe they can help jog your memory."

I sat back against the lounge chair, recapping what had just happened. Moments later, James returned with three guys following after him.

"If she can't remember a pretty face like mine, it must be serious," James finished, stopping in front of me.

The three guys stood frozen in front of me, staring at me wide-eyed.

"Um, hi," I waved shyly, attempting to break the awkward tension in the air.

"Look at you," the guy with short black hair said.

"You grew up so beautiful," the blonde one grinned.

"Um, thanks," I blushed.

The short guy in the helmet seemed unable to contain whatever excitement he held because he couldn't keep still.

"Are you-" I started.

"Serenity's back!" he screamed, tackling me in a bear hug.

I didn't quite know what to say or do. Luckily the guys pulled him off of me.

"Did I know you guys too?" I asked slowly.

"She really doesn't remember us?" the blonde one asked.

I shook my head. "Refresh my memory?"

"Logan. You used to call me 'Logie Bear,'" the one with short dark hair smiled.

"I'm Carlos. You used to call me 'Car-Car,'" the one in the helmet chirped.

"I'm Kendall," the blonde one said. "You didn't have a nickname for me."

"Yeah, she did! Don't you remember? She used to call you 'Barbie!'" Carlos grinned.

I laughed. "I did?" Kendall groaned and covered his face in his hands.

"And you already met me," James said. Flipping his hair and putting his arm around me, he said, "You used to call me 'Awesome.'"

I laughed nervously and removed his arm from around my shoulder.

"Real funny, James," Logan rolled his eyes. "You used to call him 'Jamie.'"

"Not cool, dude!" James screamed as he tackled Logan, sending them both head first into the pool.

Kendall, Carlos, and I were practically rolling on the ground laughing.

"I am Lizzy and I would like to be a part of this," Lizzy exclaimed, posing like a superhero with her hands on her hips.

"Weirdo," Scarlet rolled her eyes.

"What's going on?" Sydney asked, shyly pulling her hood farther over her head.

"Kendall and Carlos, these are my best friends: Scarlet, Sydney, and Lizzy the 'superhero.'"

"Hi," my three friends waved.

"Aren't you hot? It's like 100 degrees out and you're wearing a hoodie," Kendall asked.

"I'm fine," Sydney answered quickly. "It's not that hot out."

Changing the subject, I quickly asked, "Do you guys know anything about my family?"

James nodded. Smiling, Logan said, "They're alive and fine- and miss you."

I forced a smile, realizing how much I missed them too- even if I didn't remember who they were.

"Serenity Cooper, is there something we missed?" Lizzy asked seriously.

"Cooper?" James asked.

"Yeah. That's my last name," I said.

"No, it's not," Logan said, his eyebrows scrunched together.

"You guys know what my last name is?" I questioned.

"Wait, that's not your real last name?" Scarlet asked.

"I'm so confused!" Lizzy exclaimed.

"Too much going on!" I exclaimed.

"Your last name is Dawn," Logan said.

"Where'd you get Cooper?" James questioned.

"Um, I-I don't know," I lied. Truthfully, I did know. I knew all too well. Cooper was the last name of my kidnapper- at least, that was what I assumed. He forced me to learn my last name as Cooper instead of Dawn.

"So what do you guys want to do now?" Carlos asked.

"All of us?" I asked, pointing to all eight of us. Carlos nodded.

"Of course," he answered.

"Well, we're in L.A. What is there to do here?" Lizzy asked.

"There's a pool right in front of us. Hm, I wonder," Scarlet said sarcastically. Lizzy playfully stuck her tongue out.

"Nyeh," Lizzy muttered, playfully sticking her tongue out at Scarlet.

"Pool?" Kendall asked, waiting for everyone's approval.

"Pool it is," Sydney answered.

"Let's go, let's go! I'm not gonna pass up swimming!" Scarlet whispered, while tugging on my arm.

I laughed. "Let's go," I smiled.

**Did you like it? Did the chapter go by a little fast? Please review! They make my day:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! Here's chapter 4:) Thanks so much for your reviews! Please continue themm:)) **

**I only own Serenity, Arielle and part of Lizzy. Other characters are owned by fabuluslyfamous, If life was a movie, and AveryPotterFangirl. This story is inspired by Blast From the Past by FlameHeart2013!  
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**Enjoy! **

**Chapter 4**

I had just barely put my stuff down on the lounge chair, trying to brush off the fact that I was leaving unfinished school work while I went off to play, when I heard someone whisper in my ear, "Serenity, look out!"

I stood up straight and shrieked just as someone wrapped their arms around my waist from behind and picked me up.

Kicking and screaming for them to let me go, whoever it was was bringing me closer to the pool.

"Hold your breath," he whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut as he dropped me in the pool.

Staying underneath the water with my eyes squeezed shut and holding my breath, I heard the wicked laugh of my kidnapper.

_"Hold your breath," he hissed. "Don't make a sound or I'll kill you."_

_ Paralyzed with fear, my seven-year-old self hugged my knees to my chest, pressing against the corner of the wall, desperately wanting to be able to melt into the walls to get away from the madman. _

_ "I swear if you make a single sound," he hissed. _

_ "Hello?" someone called from outside. _

_ "Be right there!" my kidnapper called, his voice sounding sweeter than I had ever heard it. _

_ "Hold your breath," he snapped. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath, desperately wishing this wasn't my reality; I was only having a year long nightmare. _

I popped up out of the water, gasping for air. Thankfully, the pool water made my face wet so no one could see the tear sliding down my cheek.

Scarlet looked at me, her eyes asking if I was already. I nodded, trying to reassure her that I was ok.

"You boys are extremely infantile," Scarlet said, shaking her head. James looked at her, his eyebrow raised.

"She likes using big words for fun," I shrugged.

"Infantile means 'of or occuring among babies or young children,'" Logan said.

"I take it you're the smart one?" Lizzy joked.

"Yeah," Logan grinned.

"Do we have to?" Kendall whined loudly. We all looked over to Kendall; who was out of the pool and on the phone. He cringed and pulled the phone away from his ear.

"But Gustavo-" Kendall tried again, but pulled the phone away again and cringed.

"We're not going Gustavo!" James exclaimed, taking the phone from Kendall. Immediately after saying that, James hung up and tossed Kendall's phone onto the lounge chair.

Sydney, Scarlet, Lizzy and I got out of the pool, asking what was going on. Within a few moments, Freight Train appeared at the pool.

"Guys, guys, guys," I whispered, tapping on their arms as I backed up. "It's Freight Train."

Our eyes went wide as we slowly backed away from Freight Train.

"Guys, Gustavo wants you down at the studio _now_," Freight Train said.

"Do we have to?" Carlos whined.

"Alright, listen," James said, walking over to Freight Train. He attempted to lower his voice, but I could still here him. "We've got four smokin' hot girls here. Do you think you could, you know, let it slide?"

"Alright, come on," Freight Train sighed, picking up James and draping him over his shoulder.

"Fine," Kendall sighed, and allowed himself to be picked up by Freight Train. Carlos and Logan soon did the same.

"Bye, girls," Freight Train said, giving us a smile. We nervously smiled and waved back.

"See you later?" Kendall called.

"Sure!" I answered. Carlos and Logan waved and said their good-byes.

"This is _so_ embarassing!" James cried. His head shot up and he looked at us, flashing a smile to cover up his whine.

"Weirdo," Lizzy muttered. I laughed.

"Ok guys, let's _go!_" Scarlet exclaimed once the boys were out of sight.

"Go where?" Sydney asked, putting her hoodie on over her swimsuit.

"Kendall invited us to dinner with the boys tonight," Scarlet said, dragging us up to our room.

"And why are we leaving the pool now? It's like two o'clock," Lizzy whined.

"James called us 'smokin' hot.' I have to make sure that what he calls me is accurate. You _know_ I don't take criticism well," Scarlet said. "I have to look amazing tonight."

"And why is that? They're just guys," Sydney said.

Scarlet blushed. "I just have to look good, ok?"

Hours later, the girls and I were ready for dinner with the boys at their apartment. Scarlet was wearing her hair down and curled, and had a thin layer of mascara on her eyelashes. She was wearing dark, ripped skinny jeans and a t-shirt that said "I'm not shy, I just don't like you." She wore black converse.

Sydney was wearing dark skinny jeans and a black hoodie. Her blonde hair was barely showing through her hood.

Lizzy pinned back part of her silvery blonde hair, and wore eyeliner around her brown eyes. She was wearing a flower print tank top with a leather jacket on top, skinny jeans, and ankle high boots.

Because I had known the boys before my kidnapping, my friends decided I needed to be all "dolled up." They curled my ebony colored hair pinned back part of it, and put eyeliner and mascara around my ice blue eyes. I wore dark skinny jeans with a black tank top that said "Paris" on it with a bejeweled Eiffel Tower. On top was a black shrug top. And I wore black flats.

"Can we go now?" I whined. "I'm tired of all this dressing up."

"Fine," Lizzy sighed.

"Just let me fix my hair just a little bit," Scarlet said, standing in front of the mirror.

Fifteen minutes later, we were getting a bit impatient.

"Scar, it's already 7. Let's _go_," Sydney said.

"Let me fix my hair!" she exclaimed.

"Scar, you already look perfect. Let's go," I sighed.

"You're right," she said, looking at herself in the mirror. "I look fine. Let's go."

"Finally," Lizzy exclaimed.

"Come on, guys! Let's go!" I exclaimed.

"Food!" Lizzy screamed, running out of the apartment. Scarlet, Sydney and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Lizzy looked back at us with an innocent look on her face and asked, "What?"

**Like it? Review please! And also please check out my other story, My Previously Happy Ending. Thanks so much!  
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**The review button's right down there!:) **


	5. Chapter 5

**OMG I am SO sorry it's been so long... Life's been pretty crazy haha :P But I'm here now with the next chapter!  
>I only own Serenity. The plot is based off of <strong>(but is changing completely :P) <strong>Blast From the Past by Flameheart2013; other characters belong to their owners! **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

"Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, stop!" I exclaimed. For almost a minute, Lizzy had been knocking on the door. First it was just her being impatient, but soon enough, she got distracted and was knocking on the door to a beat. Getting lost in the rhythm, she stuck her tongue out with a goofy smile on her face.

"Chill, I'm here," James said, opening the door.

"Wow," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"Can we eat now? _Please_?" Lizzy exclaimed.

"Come on in," James said, leaning against the door frame.

"Thanks," I answered.

"Hey, girls! You're just in time. The food's almost ready," Kendall smiled.

"Yay!" Lizzy exclaimed.

"What are we having?" I asked, sitting in the chair next to Kendall.

"Dinosaur nuggets!" Carlos chirped.

"No way!" I exclaimed. "I love those!"

"Same!" my friends exclaimed.

"Hi, girls. I'm Mrs. Knight, Kendall's mom. It's so nice to meet you," a woman said, entering the room. She had reddish-brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a sweet smile.

"Hi, Mrs. Knight. I'm Lizzy," Lizzy spoke up.

"I'm Sydney," Sydney said shyly, pulling her hood up more over her head.

"I'm Scarlet," Scarlet said.

"I'm Serenity," I said shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Serenity?" Mrs. Knight said quietly, her eyes widening slightly. But she shook her head, muttering something under her breath.

"Mom, it's her," Kendall said quietly.

Mrs, Knight looked at me.

"It's Serenity," Carlos smiled.

"Serenity? But t-they said you were-" Mrs. Knight started, her voice quavering.

"Dead?" I asked quietly. Mrs. Knight nodded. "No. I escaped when I was twelve."

"Why didn't you come home?" she asked.

"I didn't know where 'home' was," I said quietly.

"Mom, can we talk about this later?" Kendall pleaded.

Clearing her throat, Mrs. Knight said, "Of course. Let's eat." She set the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets on the table and called, "Katie! Come down and eat!"

"I'm here, I'm here," a small girl said, walking down the stairs. She looked about 12 or 13, with long brown hair and big brown eyes.

"This is my little sister, Katie," Kendall said, introducing us.

"Hey," Katie said, before nearly diving into the food.

"So tell me about yourselves," Mrs. Knight said after a few awkward moments of silence.

"Scarlet glanced at me nervously and I knew what she was thinking. We didn't want any one to know we were orphans; sympathy went had-in-hand with that knowledge.

"Well we're sophomores at Clearbrook High," Lizzy started.

"We're straight-A teachers' pets," Scarlet said, rolling her eyes at the last part.

"What about your families?" Logan asked, with a goofy smile on his face after hearing we were straight-A studnets.

"Um, our families aren't really around any more," I said quickly. It wasn't _completely_ a lie.

"What do you do for fun?" Carlos asked.

"Music," we all answered.

"Really?" they asked.

"_Well that sparked their curiousity,_" I thought.

"Yeah, why?" Lizzy asked.

"Because we're singers!" Kendall exclaimed.

"We're the boy band Big Time Rush," James said.

"Who?" I asked.

"I thought boy bands were dead," Sydney whispered.

James yeled. "H-how can you be from Minnesota and not know who Big Time Rush is?" he exclaimed.

I shruggged.

"Chill, James! So what instruments do you play?" Kendall asked.

"Bass, piano, and singing," Lizzy answered.

"Piano and singing," Sydney said.

"Drums and back-up vocals," Scarlet said.

"Guitar and piano," I said. My friends looked at me.

After a few seconds of them staring at me, I was starting to feel a little self-conscious.

"What?" I asked.

"You forgot singing," Scarlet said.

"Um, I can't sing," I said.

"Ha! That's funny!" Lizzy exclaimed, laughing sarcastically.

"It's tru!" I exclaimed.

"Ok, you honestly must be crazy to think that you can't sing," Sydney said.

"Or maybe you're crazy to think I can!" I countered.

"It's your word against ours. Three to one. You're outnumbered," Scarlet said.

"Ha! We win!" Lizzy exclaimed.

"Gr," I growled. "You suck."

"Thank you," Lizzy smiled.

"It's already 8:30," Kendall observed, trying to change the subject.

"Well you know what they say," I said. "Time flies when you're having fun."

"Yeah, we should do this again tomorrow," Logan said.

"We can't, remember?" James asked.

"Why not?" Lizzy asked, a hint of disappointment in her tone.

"There's a bonfire tomorrow," James said.

"James! Invite them to go with you," Mrs. Knight scolded.

"Do you want to come with us?" Carlos asked excitely.

"Ok!" my friends exclaimed.

"I guess we're going," I smiled.

"Cool," James grinned. Just then, my phone went off, playing the song that I had written and recorded with the kids in the orphanage.

"_You got me seeing stars, there ain't no going back now. You got me seeing stars, take me to the moon and back, let me see those stars."_

I took my phone out and checked the caller ID, grinning when I saw who it was.

"Ari!" I exclaimed. Lizzy, Scarlet, and Sydney lit up.

"_Hey, Serenity! How's L.A. treating you four?"_

"Great," Scarlet said, after I had put Arielle on speaker.

"Oh, good. I'm glad," she said.

"How is every one?" I asked, referring to the kids at the orphanage.

"They're fine. But they miss you already," she said. I could almost hear the pout on her face.

"We miss them too," I said, sighing slightly.

"Is the money I gave you enough to get you started?" Arielle asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Lizzy said.

"Oh, no problem. But, unfortunately, I do need to go. The kids are getting cranky."

"Ok," Sydney sighed. "Miss you, Ari."

"I miss you girls too. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye!" we chorused. After Arielle said her good-bye, we heard the click on the other end and hung up.

"Who was that?" Logan asked.

"Um, our babysitter," I lied.

"Babysitter?" James asked, his eyebrow lifting up.

"Well, she was our babysitter. She's like our best friend now," Scarlet said. I nodded in agreement.

"Alright girls, it's getting late. I think we need to head home," I said.

"Aw, do we have to?" Lizzy whined, yawning.

"Liz, you're about to fall asleep. We need to go," Scarlet laughed.

"No," Lizzy yawned, her eyes drooping.

"Don't make me carry you," I half-threatened.

"Kay," Lizzy said, holding her arms out and closing her eyes.

"Oh, my goodness," Sydney said, shaking her head. Scarlet, Sydney and I each helped pick Lizzy up and said our "good-bye"s to the boys.

"Thanks for having us!" Scarlet said.

"See you tomorrow?" James asked. I had a feeling he was talking directly to me.

"Yup," I said. "Night!"

**Good? Sorry if this chapter seemed a little slow... But PLEASE review! The button's right down there!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright, it's been a LONG time since I've updated and I'm REALLY sorry so I'm going to skip all the stuff before the story and just let you read ;)**

**I do not own anything but Serenity.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 6**

_Two weeks later_

I was sitting on the couch in the lobby attempting to do my homework when two hands covered my eyes.

"Guess who," a poorly disguised voice said.

"Um," I said, pretending to be clueless. "Dak Zevon?"

"Really?" the voice said, taking his hands off my eyes. "Dak Zevon?"

"I'm kidding, James," I said, turning around. "I knew it was you."

"Aw," James pouted. "How?"

"I can smell your Cuda spray," I answered. "You wear _way_ to much of that, by the way."

"Don't pretend you don't love it," James winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Try wearing less. You'll get more girls."

"It can't be _that_ bad, considering how many girls I get already," James said.

Rolling my eyes again, I sighed. "Whatever floats your boat, pretty boy."

"See? Exactly what I meant," James smirked.

"You're kidding right?"

"What?" James asked, looking utterly confused.

"Never mind," I sighed. "What's up?"

"Well, the guys and I were thinking about the first dinner we had and how you thought you couldn't sing," James started.

"I can't," I interrupted. "I don't know what the girls were thinking."

"Well, how about you let the rest of us decide? You know how we sang at the bonfire two weeks ago? The day after we met you? There's another bonfire tonight. You could sing there!"

"Oh, no, no, no," I said. "No way."

"Why not?" James whined.

"I don't do well with singing in front of people," I said.

"Please?" James pouted.

"No," I answered, with a tone that said "and that's final."

"Aw," James said, hanging his head.

"Sorry, dude," I said.

"I'll get you to sing one day," James said, winking.

"Ha, that's funny. You actually think you can get me to do something," I said, laughing sarcastically.

"You'd be surprised by my persuasion skills."

"Sure," I said sarcastically.

"How about we make a bet?" James said.

"I'm listening," I said, genuinely intrigued.

"Well it's obvious some of our friends have feelings for each other," James started.

I guessed it was true. Over the last two weeks, my friends had began to develop feelings for the boys of Big Time Rush.

"Continue," I said, narrowing my eyes slightly.

"Walk with me," James said, motioning for me to follow him. I rolled my eyes, gathered up my books, and followed James out to the pool.

I put my books down on a lounge chair and caught up to James.

"And obviously Logan's the shyest of us all when it comes to the ladies," James said.

"Can you get on with the bet already?" I asked impatiently.

"Patience is a virtue, young one," James chuckled.

"Well, patience is a virtue that I _lack_," I said. James laughed.

"So, any ways, if Logan asks Lizzy on a date, and she says 'yes,' you have to sing at the next bonfire," James said.

"And if he doesn't ask her out or she says 'no'?" I asked. "What happens then?"

"Nothing. Because Logan's going to ask her out, and she's going to say 'yes.'"

"You're on," I said. We shook hands and attempting to talk about something else.

Suddenly, Lizzy ran up to me, screaming my name. Logan was looking after her, a silly grin on his face.

"_Oh, no_," I thought.

"What?" I asked, suddenly very scared.

"Logan asked me out!" she screamed.

"NO!" I screamed, falling to the floor, and screaming to the sky.

"Um, is she ok?" Lizzy asked James.

"She will be," James smirked. "And let me be the first to thank you for accepting Logan's offer. You two will make a wonderful couple."

"Are _you_ ok?" Lizzy asked.

"I'm wonderful, thank you," James said, smiling down at me.

I glared. "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you."

James just smiled.

Logan walked over to us. "What's going on?"

"Logan, thank you for asking Lizzy out," James smiled.

"Why?"

"Because now, Serenity has to sing for us at tomorrow night's bonfire."

"It's tomorrow?" I shrieked.

"You actually agreed to sing?" Lizzy asked, her eyes lighting up.

I narrowed my eyes. "We made a bet," I hissed.

"Fail," Lizzy said, smacking her forehead.

I sat on the floor, burying my face in my hands, mentally cursing at myself for being so stupid.

"Hey, I heard you scream. Are you ok?" someone asked.

I looked up. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said.

"Good. I'm Nikki, by the way." Nikki seemed to be a little older than the rest of us. She had dark brown hair that went down to her elbows. Her eyes were light brown. She was about 5'6", with long legs and well-muscled arms, while still being very skinny. She had a long, thin scar from the corner of her eye down to her left cheek and another white scar through her right eyebrow.

"Hey, Nikki," I said. "I'm Serenity."

"I'm Lizzy," Lizzy said.

"Logan."

"James."

Nikki nodded in acknowledgement. "Nice to meet you," she said quietly.

"Are you new here?" I asked. She nodded.

"Hey, there's a bonfire tomorrow night, by the pool. You want to come?" Lizzy asked.

Nikki smiled slightly and nodded.

We introduced Nikki to Carlos, Kendall, Scarlet, and Sydney a little while later. The nine of us spent the rest of the day hanging out at the pool and in Palm Woods Park.

Nikki was quiet. She told us a little bit about how she and her mom had moved to L.A., leaving her father to finish up whatever "business" (Nikki said he didn't tell them what business, as he didn't have a full job) in Minnesota. Her dad was going to join Nikki and her mom within the next month. She told us to moved to L.A. for a change of scenery and some new friends after the death of her sisters, to which she didn't go into detail.

The boys had gone for a few minutes to get food for the rest of us. Nikki had opened up a little more with just us girls.

"It's not a tale I like to share," she said. "But I can say that I blame their deaths on myself."

"Whatever happened, I'm sure it wasn't your fault," Scarlet said.

"But it was," Nikki countered quietly. Tears filled her eyes.

"Whenever you're ready to talk about it, you know we're here for you," Sydney said, putting her hand on Nikki's shoulder.

"No one blames any one in this circle," I said, as Scarlet, Sydney, Lizzy and I linked hands.

"We've got our own little sob stories," Lizzy said, smiling slightly with sad eyes.

"And when you're ready, we can share them with you."

"Thank you," Nikki whispered.

The boys had come back at that point, each holding a bag of food from Panda Express.

Scarlet had put her headphones back in her ears, and Nikki had pulled a Rubik's cube out of her pocket. Sydney leaned back against the chair, pulling her hood over her head and her sunglasses on her eyes. Lizzy zoned out, absent-mindedly playing with her bright green nails. I sat quietly, staring at my charm bracelet.

I couldn't stop thinking about Nikki saying her sisters had died and that she blamed herself. Two weeks ago, when I had first met James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan, I had asked about my family. All they had said was they were alive and missed me. But they never said if I had siblings. I could have had a little sister or brother all this time, and they would have had to grow up without their big sister to help them through school or to protect them.

"Boo," James whispered, sitting down next to me. Although it was a quiet outburst, I still jumped.

"Jumpy much?" James laughed.

"Sorry, you caught me off guard. What's up?"

James looked at me.

"What?"

He gestured to the bag that was in his hand. "Food?" he asked, sounding amused.

"Right!" I exclaimed. "Sorry, I totally blanked there."

"I could tell," he laughed.

"Shut up," I smiled, gently pushing him.

"Hey! No pushing; I was the one that got your food, remember?" he laughe.d

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry," I said sarcastically.

"Just eat," he said, rolling his eyes.

I laughed, and got my food out of the bag: chow mein and orange chicken from Panda Express.

"How'd you know this was my favorite food from Panda Express?" I asked.

"I know you too well," James shrugged.

"Ha, that's funny. How'd you know?"

"I guessed," James admitted.

"You're a good guesser," I complimented.

"It's a gift," James shrugged, as if it was nothing.

"Wow," I mouthed to myself. After a few moments of silence, James looked around, as if to make sure no one was around.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Just making sure no one's around to hear this," James said.

"Hear what?"

He smiled and turned to me. "Kendall's going to ask Scarlet out tonight at the bonfire."

"Really?" I asked, my eyes widening.

James nodded. "Apparently, Lizzy saying yes to Logan gave Kendall the confidence he needed to ask her."

"Aw, that's cute," I smiled.

"Pretty soon, all our friends aren't going to be single any more," James said.

"Then it'll just be you and me. Hey! You, me, Sydney, and Carlos should form a singles' club!"

"Um, no thanks. Forming a club will just remind me that I'm single," James said.

"Sad face," I pouted. "But then again, knowing you, you won't be single for long."

"Eh, you're right," James shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't make me take that back," I threatened.

"Well, I already have my eye on someone so," James trailed off, looking me in the eyes.

"_I-it couldn't. Could it… be me?" _ I thought. "_No. No way."_

I cleared my throat and tore my eyes away from him. "Any way you'll tell me who it is?"

"You'll find out soon enough," James said.

"Oh, I see how it is," I teased.

I glanced over at my friends. Scarlet was eating her food, bobbing her head to the music she was listening to.

"Scar!" I exclaimed. She didn't hear me.

"Scar!" I tried again. Once again, she didn't hear me.

I grabbed a piece of my chicken and chucked it at her, screaming "Scarlet!"

"What?" she asked, ripping her headphones from her ears.

"Hi," I smiled.

She rolled her eyes and started to put her headphones back in.

"Are your headphones glued to your ears?" Lizzy asked, pretending to be curious.

"Yes, they are," Scarlet said sarcastically.

"So did it hurt when you took them out?" I asked.

Scarlet looked at me like I was crazy and chucked a piece of chicken at me.

"What was that for?" I laughed.

"Payback!" she exclaimed.

**Alright funny story. So I was uploading this chapter and it turns out I accidentally put everything up here. Like chapters one through nine! That would've ruined it huh? haha**

**So did you like it? PLEASE review! I haven't gotten any feedback in the longest time! Also, please let me know how I'm doing with the OC's because I've never done a story with someone else's OC's before. Soo... yeah :P**

**REVIEW PLEASE!:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG I am SO sorry it's been such a long time! I forced myself to upload this story because it's been such a long time so I hope you like it! :)**

**I do not own anything but Serenity. Other characters go to their owners! Plot inspired by Blast From the Past by Flameheart2013!**

**Enjoy!:)**

**Chapter 7**

"Serie," James said, sitting down next to me on my bed. I opened my eyes and pulled my headphones out of my ears.

"What are you listening to?" he asked, curiously.

"Oh Yeah," I answered.

"You know that one singer is pretty hot," James smiled.

"Oh really?" I asked, amused.

"Very," James grinned.

"So what's up?"

"I tracked down your mom's cell number," James smiled.

"You did?" I asked, suddenly intrigued.

James nodded. "You want to talk to her?"

"I-I wouldn't know what to say," I said quietly. "She thought I was dead for nearly ten years."

"How about I call her and you can listen in?"

"Ok," I nodded, grinning like crazy.

James dialed and put the phone up to his ear. I leaned closer to him in an attempt to listen in.

James smiled and moved the phone to his other ear.

"James!" I whined.

"Hey, Mrs. Dawn!" James said, putting his hand out to push me away.

"Stop messing around!" I whined. "Put her on speaker!"

James almost started laughing and put the phone on speaker. He kept it close to his lips so my mom could hear. I leaned my head on James's shoulder to listen. James moved the phone to his other hand, and put the arm closest to me around my shoulders.

"Hello, who is this?" my mom asked.

"It's James."

"Oh, hey, James! How are you?"

"Good, thanks. How have you been?"

"Same as every year," she sighed. "Serenity's birthday is coming up; it's just another week."

"That's right," James sighed. "We've been thinking about her a lot these past couple of weeks."

"Have you?"

"Yeah. I tracked down your number and was just wondering if you had any stories to share about Serenity and me when we were younger."

"Oh, I have plenty," she laughed. "I keep a journal of all my memories with her."

"Could you share some with me?"

"Of course! Just give me a minute to get the journal."

"Thanks, Mrs. Dawn," James smiled.

A few minutes later, my mom's voice rang through the phone. "This was my favorite story of you two; it's your future."

"We had a future?" James asked, sounding intrigued.

"Oh yes. You two had your whole lives planned out," she said. "First, Serenity would be trapped in a tall tower, guarded by a fire-breathing dragon. Then, when she lost all hope of ever being rescued, you were rescue her from the tower. You'd sweep her off her feet and the two of you would fall in love."

"Really, now?" James asked, looking at me with a small smile.

"I'm not done yet! Serenity refused to marry you without knowing who you were, so for your first date, you brought a horse-drawn carriage and you rode around your kingdom. Finally, you two would get married and the whole kingdom would show up to celebrate the wedding of 'Princess Serenity' and 'Sir James.' You'd live in a candy castle too! And I believe you two said you'd have ten kids- five boys and five girls so it was fair." James laughed. "It was your classic fairy tale," Mom sighed.

"Sounds like it," James smiled.

"You know, between the two of us, I bet you and Serenity would have made the cutest couple. You were always so sweet together," Mom said.

"Thanks," James laughed.

"I miss her," she said suddenly. Her voice cracked and I knew she would start crying soon. I felt my own tears stinging at the corner of my eyes.

"I do too," James said.

"Oh, James, hon, I have to go. Matt's home," my mom said.

"Ok. It was nice talking to you again, Mrs. Dawn."

"You too, James. Good luck in L.A."

"Thanks. Bye," James said.

"Bye," Mom said. I heard the click on the other end and I knew she had hung up.

It was silent for a moment before I hugged James. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on his lap.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"No problem," he whispered back. Honestly, I liked hugging James. He made me feel safe; like nothing could ever hurt me any more.

_"Oh, no you don't,_" I thought. "_Don't like James. There's no way he'd go after a girl like you. Not when you've got all these L.A. girls around."_

"So, we were engaged at five years old," James laughed, pulling away.

"Where's my ring, pretty boy?" I asked, moving off his lap and back onto my bed. I wondered what James was thinking. Was it me that he had his eye on?

"_No harm in asking," _ I thought. _"If he likes me, great. The worst he can say is 'no'."_

"James," I started to say, but was interrupted by the door opening.

"James, we need to go," Nikki said. "The guys are looking for you. Besides, we've got some things to talk about." Although she was quiet and didn't show much emotion, I could see why any one would like her. She was quiet, polite, and had built up walls that people would to anything to break down. Few people had become close to her, according to her; her walls were nearly impossible to break. But once you gained enough of her trust, she would open up.

James stood up and hugged her. She looked shocked and nearly frozen. James turned to wave good-bye to me and linked arms with Nikki before walking away.

I waited a few moments before falling back on my bed. I buried my face in a pillow and screamed. Honestly, it felt good. I've screamed out of fear for the last four years; screaming about something other than nightmares was like a dream come true- if that made any sense.

"Are you ok?" Scarlet, Sydney, and Lizzy asked, runing into the room Lizzy and I share.

"I'm fine," I sighed. "No big deal."

"I don't believe you," Sydney said.

"I'm _fien_. Go get ready for the bonfire tonight," I said.

Minutes later, I was in dark blue skinny jeans and an oversized gray t-shirt. Sydney, Scarlet, Lizzy, and I were all wearing the same thing, except for the black sweatshirt the other three were wearing.

"I don't understand how you never get cold," Lizzy said, observing my bare arms.

I simply shrugged and rubbed my arm as I remembered the dark cellar' water dripping through every crack in the ceiling, leaving puddles on the floor; the cold numbing you; little mice, rats, or insects running over your numb, sick body was the only remind that you were still alive- but everything in you wished you weren't. Soon, wishes of being found changed to wishing that when you closed your eyes, they would never open again. Hopes of escaping vanished with every day that passed.

I shook my head, trying to get the memory out of my head.

"Let's go," I said, leading my friends out of our apartment and down to the pool.

"Hey girls," Kendall said, with Logan and Carlos following closely behind him.

Soon, I was left alone as Lizzy sat next to Logan, Sydney sat with Carlos, and Scarlet sat with Kendall. I searched for James, only to find him sitting next to Nikki off on their own.

I sighed, hugging my arms to my chest, and sat in between Lizzy and Scarlet.

"Our turn," Kendall announced, winking at Scarlet. Logan and Carlos walked with Kendall to the makeshift stage in front of every one. James met them there and winked at me. I couldn't decide how to react.

I could either smile and wave back and pretend him ditching me for Nikki didn't upset me, or I could glare at him and let him know that I was upset. But, in a larger sense, I didn't really have a right to be mad at him. He wasn't mine. He could like any one he wanted to.

To avoid internal conflict, I pretended I didn't see him.

"I think Kendall likes you," I whispered to Scarlet.

"I know he does," Scarlet whispered back.

I looked at her, eyes wide. "Did- did he-"

"He asked me out!" she whisper-screamed.

"Oh my gosh!" I whisper-screamed back.

"I know!"

I silently screamed and hugged her.

"We are Big Time Rush; we're signed with Gustavo Rocque at Rocque Records," Kendall announced, a big grin painted on his face.

Guitar Dude started strumming and they started singing.

_I promise I would be there_

_I swear I'm on my way_

_I know you may not hear me_

_But that's the price I'll pay_

_And I don't know_

_How I would ever go_

_All alone walking on my own_

_Like angels you were floating to me _

_ And that's how it should be_

'_Cause I don't wanna waste another moment_

_I don't wanna pay for things unspoken_

_I just wanna race with arms wide open_

_Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are_

_I don't wanna waste another moment_

_I don't wanna pay for things unspoken_

_I just wanna race with arms wide open_

_Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are_

_I don't wanna watch the world keep changing_

_When I'm not with you my heart keeps shaking_

_Cover up my eyes and just stop pacing _

_Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are_

_I promise you I'm gonna be there_

_I wanna be there_

_No matter what happens_

_No matter how tragic_

'_Cause the clock is ticking_

_The world is spinning_

_Our lives are passing us by_

'_Cause I don't wanna watch the world keep changing_

_When I'm not with you my heart keeps shaking_

_Cover up my eyes and just stop pacing_

_Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are_

_Take a shot in the dark…._

Once they finished, we all applauded and cheered. They took a bow and sat down.

"You should go up there," Sydney whispered.

"No," I answered. "No way."

"That's a good idea, Syd! Why not, Serenity?" Scarlet asked.

"I can't sing in front of all these people!" I exclaimed.

"Who wants to go next?" Jo asked.

"Serenity does!" James exclaimed. I nearly attacked him.

"No! No, I don't!" I exclaimed. I heard several "come on"s and "why not"s before James started chanting my name.

James picked me up and put me on the stage.

"You have to any ways," James whispered in my ear. "We made a bet."

"Crap," I mumbled under my breath, while glaring at him.

James just smiled and shrugged.

"I'm only performing if you guys sing with me!" I exclaimed, hoping Sydney, Scarlet, and Lizzy would say "no."

"Ok," Lizzy chirped as the three stepped onstage.

"Dang it," I hissed.

"What are we playing?" Sydney asked, sitting behind the piano that was placed there.

"Haunted," I mumbled, still unhappy about having to sing.

"I'm on drums for this one," Scarlet said, sitting behind the drumset.

"I've got bass," Lizzy announced.

"Guitar," I sighed.

"Shoot, there isn't a bass or guitar here."

"James, can you grab our instruments from our room, please?" Lizzy called. Within minutes, James returned with out instruments.

"Some time today!" the Jennifers called as I took my guitar out of its case.

"_Here goes nothing,"_ I thought.

_You and I walk a fragile line_

_I have known it all this time_

_But I never thought I'd live to see it break_

_It's getting dark and it's all too quiet_

_And I can't trust anything now_

_And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake_

_Oh, I'm holding my breath_

_Won't lose you again_

_Something's made your eyes go cold_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_You're all I wanted_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_You're all I wanted_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this  
>I thought I had you figured out<em>

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't turn back now, I'm haunted_

_Stood there and watched you walk away_

_From everything we had_

_But I still mean every word I said to you_

_He would try to take away my pain_

_And he just might make me smile_

_But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead_

_Oh, I'm holding my breath_

_Won't see you again_

_Something keeps me holding on to nothing_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_You're all I wanted_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't turn back now, I'm haunted_

_I know, I know_

_I just know_

_You're not gone_

_You can't be gone, no_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this _

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_Won't finish what you started_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't go back, I'm haunted_

_You and I walk a fragile line_

_I have known it all this time_

_Never ever thought I'd see it break  
>Never thought I'd see it<em>

Applause erupted from the crowd when we finished. Out of breath, I quickly put my guitar back in its case and stepped of the stage.

While everyone was talking, James hugged my from behind and whispered, "You did amazing."

"Thanks," I smiled.

"You guys are so cute," Lizzy cooed. I immediately pulled away. James looked hurt at first, but then said, "Got another song you want to show me?"

"No," I said quickly. "What makes you think I have another song?"

"She does," Scarlet smiled smugly. I shot a glare at her.

"You don't have to sing it here," James said. "You can sing it at Rocque Records where only we can hear it."

"Shouldn't you be hanging out with Nikki right now?" I whispered.

"What?" James asked. Realizing what I had said, I quickly answered, "Nothing. Where's Nikki?"

"She was tired so she went to bed after you guys finished performing," James answered.

"Oh," was all I could think to say.

"So, Rocque Records?" Sydney asked, smiling smugly.

"No! I won't go! You can't make me!" I screamed.

"Yes, we can," James laughed, picking me up, bridal style. "If you kick, I'll drop you."

"Then drop me," I challenged. James responded by hugging me closer to his chest.

I buried my face in his chest and clung to his shirt, trying to calm my racing heart. I could admit that singing onstage in front of _people_ was an adrenaline rush, but it was still the most terrifying experience of my life. Ok, not literally.

"_Relax, Serenity. Relax,"_ I thought to myself. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, but it didn't work.

"You'll be fine, Serenity," James whispered. "You're amazing; you know that?"

**Soo did you like it? :) Review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"What am I doing here?" I asked into the microphone. I had been dragged into the recording booth at Rocque Records.

"You're singing. Duh," Scarlet said sarcastically.

"No der," I answered, rolling my eyes. "_Why_ am I singing?"

"Because you're good," Lizzy answered.

"Ha, that's funny. I'm only going to make a fool of myself," I answered.

"Serenity, you are amazing. There is no way you could ever make a fool of yourself by doing something you're good at," James said.

My three friends put there hands on their chests and cooed.

"But do I have to?" I whined.

"Yes. Sing."

"Sing what. I don't have anything to sing," I said, in monotone.

"Sing that song you've been working on," Lizzy said. My eyes widened.

"W-what song?" I asked nervously.

"The one you've been working on when you lock yourself in our room," Lizzy said smugly. "You think we can't hear you, but we mute the TV and listen."

"Ack," I exclaimed.

"Just sing. The sooner you sing, the sooner you get it over with because you _know_ we're not leaving until you do," Kendall said.

I took a deep breath, pretty upset that I had to sing twice in one night- in front of _people_.

"Fine," I hissed, and started strumming the guitar.

_Skies are crying,_

_I am watching,_

_Catching teardrops in my hands._

_Only silence, as it's ending,_

_Like we never had a chance._

_Do you have to make me feel _

_Like there's nothing left of me?_

_You can take everything I have,_

_You can break everything I am,_

_Like I'm made of glass,_

_Like I'm made of paper._

_Go on and try to tear me down._

_I will be rising from the ground,_

_Like a skyscraper,_

_Like a skyscraper._

_As the smoke clears,_

_I awaken_

_And untangle you from me._

_Would it make you feel better_

_To watch me, while I bleed?_

_All my windows still are broken,_

_But I'm standing on my feet._

_You can take everything I have,_

_You can break everything I am,_

_Like I'm made of glass,_

_Like I'm made of paper._

_Go on and try to tear me down._

_I will be rising from the ground,_

_Like a skyscraper,_

_Like a skyscraper._

_Go run, run, run._

_I'm gonna stay right here,_

_Watch you disappear._

_Yeah, ohh._

_Go run, run, run._

_Yeah it's a long way down._

_But I am closer to the clouds,_

_Up here._

_You can take everything I have,_

_You can break everything I am,_

_Like I'm made of glass,_

_Like I'm made of paper._

_Ohhh_

_Go on and try to tear me down_

_I will be rising from the ground,_

_Like a skyscraper,_

_Like a skyscraper. _

_(Like a skyscraper)_

_Like a skyscraper,_

_Like a skyscraper._

I put the guitar down, wiping away the tear that slid down my cheek. I looked up to my friends, who each were tearing up.

"You're amazing," Lizzy choked. As tears slid down their cheeks, Scarlet and Sydney nodded in agreement.

"I-I need a second," I whispered, quickly walking out of the recording booth before the guys could say anything about the song.

I took several deep breaths as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to ignore the fact that throughout the entire song, all I could see was _his_ face.

I glanced out the window, into the darkness of the night. A shadow walked past the window and glanced at through at me. It seemed like he smiled at me. But he looked like _him_. Like the man that kidnapped me.

I screamed- screamed as hard as I possibly could. His face flashed in my mind; his evil laugh was ringing in my ears.

Any chance I had of holding back my tears was gone once I felt the beatings again. Covering my ears as tears flowed down my cheeks, I screamed.

I vaguely heard yelling and footsteps before someone wrapped their arms around me.

I opened my eyes to see James sitting next to me, smoothing my hair as he attempted to make me relax. I leaned against him, not bothering to move my hands as more tears slipped down my cheeks.

_"I told you to shut up," he said, walking closer to me. _

_ "My mom told me to make a lot of noise if any one kidnaps me," I said, trying to act smart for a six year old. _

_ "Look around. No one is here to save you!" he screamed. _

_ "Help me! Somebody please, he kidnapped me!" I screamed. _

_ "Shut up!" he screamed, smacking me across the face. _

_ "No!" I yelled. _

_ "Come here you little," he yelled some dirty words and forcefully dragged me by my shoulder. He threw me against the rock wall, where I hit my head on a sharp ledge and blacked out immediately. _

_Five years later….._

_ "It's been five years. Give it up," he groaned. _

_ "Never," I hissed. _

_ "You're a brat. No one's ever going to rescue you. You're mine."_

_ "Never. I will get out of here."_

_ "Give it up," he exclaimed. _

_ "Help! Somebody, please, help me!" I screamed, struggling to get free of the ropes tied around my wrists and ankles. _

_ "How many times do I have to beat you before you finally give up?"_

_ "I will never stop trying; I will get out of here," I hissed again. _

_ "Fine; but you asked for it," he said, getting out of his chair. Fear took over me; I became so scared I shook. He returned moments later with a long whip. _

_ My eyes widened. He had threatened me with that before but had never actually used it. _

_ "You could kill me with that thing," I whispered shakily. _

_ "Well, at least I won't have to worry about you screaming all the time then," he shrugged. My eyes widened. He brought his arm back and I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing myself for the worst. _

_ The most horrible, ear-shattering crack filled the air as he brought the whip down on me. I screamed but quickly shut my mouth, biting my cheek, my lip, and my tongue, anything to lessen the pain. _

_ Five unbearable whips later, he stopped saying, "That's enough for today. I wouldn't want to leave any scars." _

_ "_Why not,"_ I thought. "_It's only going to get worse because I'm never going to stop."

_ "Now, come with me," he said, pulling me up. _

_ "Where are you taking me?" I asked quietly, still shaking slightly from fear and pain. _

_ "I'm going to leave you with something permanent. So you _always_ know that you belong to me."_

_ "What are you talking about?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. _

_ "You'll see," he smirked. My heart was racing. _

_He brought me into another little room where a fire was burning bright. The room was so warm; the warmest I'd felt in nearly five years. He threw me onto the wood floor, where I landed with a loud crack. I cried out in pain when the fresh whip wounds on my waist hit the wood. _

_ My kidnapper, who's name I still hadn't learned, walked over to the furnace and pulled out a long rod. Something red-hot was at the end of the rod. His face was illuminated as he held the red-hot substance close to his face; an evil smile was spread across his face. _

_ "Please, no," I begged quietly. _

_ "Come here, Ugly Duckling," he taunted, coming closer to me. _

_ "Please," I begged again._

_ "No use trying to beg," he said, bending down. _

_ "No," I groaned quietly. He turned me over and lifted my shirt up to where the whip wounds were. Before I could think, breath, or blink, he brought down the red-hot metal to my wounds. _

_ I screamed so loud it hurt my throat. He took the metal off my skin and put it in a bucket next to the furnace. I layed on the floor, curled up in pain. Soft sobs racked through my body._

_ "You're mine forever now," my kidnapper taunted, leaving the room. _

"Sh, sh, Serenity, you're ok," James whispered, smoothing my hair.

"I-it hurts," I choked.

"What hurts?"

I gently lifted up the side of my shirt to reveal five long scars and the initials "M.C." burned in the middle.

"Serenity…" he trailed off.

"I thought it was over," I started.

"It is," James tried to reassure me.

"No," I shook my head. "No matter what happens, what I do, it will never be over."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Guess what, guess what, guess what!" Lizzy exclaimed, shaking my bed.

I yawned, rubbing my eyes.

"What?" I mumbled groggily, about to fall asleep again.

"Your birthday's tomorrow!"

"Wonderful," I mumbled sarcastically.

"I know you never look forward to your birthday- though I'm not sure why- but can you at least show a little enthusiasm for this one? It's your sixteenth birthday!"

"Yay!" I exclaimed, faking enthusiasm.

"Not perfect but getting better," Lizzy sighed.

"Eh, deal with it," I joked.

"Gr," she glared.

I laughed. "Are Scar and Syd awake yet?"

"Doubt it," Lizzy chuckled.

"What?" I asked, shooting up to look at the clock- 2:30 A.M.

"You suck _so_ bad," I hissed.

"I couldn't sleep," Lizzy laughed.

"Hey, you wanna go prank the guys?" Lizzy suggested an evil smirk on her face.

"Yes!" I said, lighting up.

"Get dressed. Fast," she said.

We got dressed and headed out to Big Time Rush's apartment.

As quietly as possible, we left notes on Katie's and Mrs. Knight's beds, telling them what we were doing.

Then we changed all the clocks to say 11:30, knowing fully well that BTR had to be at Rocque Records at nine for an important meeting.

Trying to stifle our laughter, I walked into James's and Carlos's room and Lizzy walked into Logan's and Kendall's room.

"What are you still doing here?" I shrieked, turning on all the lights so the boys wouldn't notice it was still dark outside.

"What are you talking about, Serie-baby?" James grumbled.

"Don't you have a meeting at 9?"

"Yeah, why?" Carlos asked.

"It's 11:30!"

I heard screams from down the hall at the same time James and Carlos screamed.

"We're late!" Kendall shrieked, racing down the hall trying to put his shirt on.

"Why didn't the alarms go off?" Logan asked, racing down shortly after Kendall.

"Who cares? Gustavo's gonna kill us!" James shrieked, racing out of his room without bothering to put his shirt on.

Seconds passed and it was quiet. I looked over at Carlos's bed to see that he had fallen back asleep.

"Carlos!" three voices screamed from behind me.

I screamed out of surprise.

"Sorry, Ser," James whispered in my ear before giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

Lizzy came strolling down the hall and stood next to me.

Highly amused, we watched the boys sprint around the apartment, tripping, running into each other, and falling several times.

Finally, Lizzy and I couldn't hold our laughter back. The guys looked at us.

"What's so funny?" they asked, all stopping whatever they were doing to look at us.

"You guys," Lizzy laughed. They looked so confused.

"It's only 2:30 in the morning," I giggled.

They were silent.

"See you in a few hours guys," Carlos mumbled, falling asleep on the couch.

"Weirdo," Kendall mumbled.

Kendall and Logan retreated down the hall and back to bed. But Logan stopped to hug Lizzy on the way.

"I'll meet you back in the apartment," Lizzy said, leaving James and me alone in the living room of the apartment.

"So… 'Serie-baby'?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh," James said, looking away. I could've sworn I saw a blush creep up on his cheeks.

"It was cute," I smiled.

"Thanks," he grinned.

"You should probably get back to bed," I said.

"Yeah, see you later, Serie," James yawned. He pecked me on the cheek again and retreated to bed.

"So, what happened?" Lizzy asked eagerly, waiting for me on the couch back at our apartment.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I left you and James alone in the apartment! What happened?"

"Nothing," I answered.

"Oh come on," Lizzy pleaded, clearly not buying it.

"Fine, you want to know what happened? I asked him why he called me 'Serie-baby' and then he kissed me on the cheek and went to bed," I answered.

"Aww!" Lizzy cooed.

"What are you talking about? It's not that big of a deal," I said.

"Is too! He so likes you!"

"No. He doesn't."

"What are you talking about? Of course he does!"

"How in the world would he like _me_?"

"Because he called you 'Serie-baby' and he kissed you!"

"On the cheek!"

"So? He so likes you!"

"Whatever, Liz. I'm going back to bed."

"He likes you!" Lizzy called as I retreated to our room.

"No, he doesn't!" I called back. I slipped under the covers and as soon as I closed my eyes, fell right back to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'M BACK! **

**WARNING: THIS IS A VERY DEPRESSING CHAPTER FILLED WITH EXTREME SELF-HARM. NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED. **

**Proceed with caution.. o.O**

**I promise next chapter is much happier **

**Chapter 10**

_The next day.._

So, it was the day I hated the most of the year: my birthday.

I rolled over in my bed, hugging the blankets close to my chest, and checked the clock: 3:15 A.M.

As silently as possible, I got out of bed and made sure Lizzy was still asleep.

Wearing basketball shorts and a red tank top, I tip-toed out to the kitchen and grabbed a large kitchen knife.

Unfortunately, despite my attempts to keep quiet, the knife drawer slid closed with a loud bang.

I cringed and watched the bedroom doors to make sure no one had woken up.

After what seemed like ages, I was confident that no one had woken up and quietly retreated out of the apartment.

The lights in the hallway were still on and it was eerily quiet in the usually loud and full of life hallways.

With the kitchen knife hidden in my basketball shorts, I crept down through the lobby and into the empty pool area.

I found the darkest area down there- hidden underneath trees and far from the windows.

Knowing I had to be fast, I quickly pulled the kitchen knife out and lifted up my tank top.

Carefully kidden on my side were six long scars- battle wounds from my whip attack.

As I do every year, I closed my eyes and held the knife over the first scar.

"Six years old; I was kidnapped," I whispered, quickly slashing the knife over the first scar, reopening the first wound.

"Seven years old; the beatings started." The second scar was reopened.

"Eight years old; I was locked in the cellar, nearly eaten alive by mice and insects." The third scar was reopened.

"Nine years old; he killed Leslie, the only one who gave me hope." Then the fourth scar.

"Ten years old; I lost hope and became suicidal and anorexic." Followed by the fifth scar.

"Eleven years old; the whipping started and I begged him to kill me every day." The final scar was reopened.

All that was left was the most difficult and painful part- reopening the burn.

"Twelve years old; I ran away." I traved the scar of the burn with the tip of the knife, biting my lip in a small attempt to ease the pain.

Take small, shallw breaths, I covered as much of the wounds as possible with my hand and closed my eyes.

Seconds after, when the pain had nowhere near subsided, I pulled my tank top down and tucked the knife back in my basketball shorts.

"Happy birthday to me," I hissed under my breath.

"Serenity?" a figure stepped out from the shadows.

"James?" I asked in disbelief.

"W-what-" James started but cut himself off and pointed to my stomach.

I looked down in horror to see that I had failed to pull my tank top all the way down. The freshly opened wounds peeked out from underneath my tank top and streaks of running red blood were visible.

"Serenity, what did you do?" James asked in horror.

"Continuing the tradition Cooper started."

"But why? Why hurt yourself so much because of it?"

"Did you see everything?" James nodded.

"Then you know I nearly died on several occasions."

"But you're safe now! You don't have to hurt yourself!"

"He's not going to stop looking for me until I'm dead."

"But-" James started.

"I have wanted to die since I was eleven years old. And _nothing_ will ever change my need for pain- and sweet, deathly release," I whispered darkly.

James's eyes went wide and I pushed past him before he had a chance to say anything.

"Nothing will change that," I thought.


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter is much happier I promise. If you didn't read last chapter, it's ok. You can continue the story without getting super confused :) **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 11**

A week after the incident on my birthday, I woke up to an empty apartment. Knowing I hadn't slept in very late- as it was only 7:30- I decided all my friends had just left for breakfast without me.

"Forever alone," I sighed. I hopped in the shower for 15 minutes. After I had changed into a clean set of clothes, I applied charcoal gray eyeliner and mascara and light pink lipgloss. I smoothed the damp curls on my head and walked out of the bathroom.

"Food, food, food," I muttered to myself. "No, I really shouldn't be eating. Need to call Ari!"

I threw myself onto the couch and pulled out my phone, dialing Ari's familiar number.

"Morning, Doll," Ari said brightly.

"Hey, Ari," I smiled.

"How are you girls doing?"

"Good. I think they're all out at breakfast with the guys."

"And they left you behind?"

"I was asleep."

"No excuse."

"It's ok. I'm not hungry anyways."

"Serenity.." Before I could hear her lecturing, someone knocked on the door.

"One sec, Ari. Someone's at the door!"

I jumped up off the couch and opened the door- only to find that no one was there. Puzzled, I stuck my head out and looked up and down the hallway. Still, the hall was empty.

"That's weird," I said to myself. I shrieked when I slipped on something and nearly fell.

"Serenity, are you ok?" Ari asked.

"Yeah, I just slipped on paper," I said, picking it up.

I could almost _hear_ her roll her eyes.

"Don't judge!" I laughed, unfolding the paper.

Inside was a note that said: "Morning, Beautiful. Find your friends with the roses. They'll lead you right to me. First step: lobby3"

"Um, Ari? I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Be safe!"

"I will. Bye." Before Ari could reply, I hung up and went down to the lobby. There, Mr. Bitters was standing with a rose.

"Here," Mr. Bitters said shortly, shoving the rose in my hand before walking away.

"Thanks..?" I looked down at the rose. A small note was attached saying: "Sorry he's not so sweet. But the next one's a real treat. (Hey that rhymed!) Pool3" I ran out to the pool to find Kelly standing there with a silly grin painted on her face, holding another rose.

"Have fun!" Kelly smiled, handing me the rose.

"Thanks," I smiled, reading the note attached to the flower.

"_Told you it's sweeter!(: Sorry about the next one… Rocque Records."_

I rolled my eyes and sprinted to Rocque Records. Gustavo was standing at the entrance holding- surprise, surprise- another rose.

"Thanks, Gustavo!" I said, taking the rose.

"This better work," he grumbled, before retreating back inside.

I followed the notes. First to Logan in the Palm Woods Park, then Lizzy by the wishing well, followed by Kendall in 2J and Scarlet in a tent by the pool. With each rose added to my collection, I got more and more excited, hoping my secret admirer would be James.

Scarlet's rose led me to the recording studio. When I saw who was there, my smile dropped. It was James.

"How do you like the hunt so far?" James asked, handing me the eighth rose.

"It's definitely interesting. But I'm dying to know who it is. Tell me?" I begged

"Sorry Sere-bear," James shook his head. "All in due time."

I groaned and read the note.

"Back to my apartment," I said. "Later, Jamie."

"Good luck, Sere-bear."

I sprinted to my apartment, dying to get the hunt over with so I could find out who had set this all up.

Sydney was waiting for me. Her rose led me to Carlos by his swirly slide.

The note on Carlos's rose said: "Last one, my dear. Go to the beach and follow the torches. I'll be waiting for you."

"_Finally!_" I thought, racing to the beach. From the entrance, torches were lined up. I followed them, eager to find out who was willing to go through so much trouble for me.

I reached the end of the torches to find no one there.

"Figures," I thought bitterly.

"Love is not found with the eyes but with the mind; and thus is winged Cupid painted blind.' Shakespeare," a voice said from behind me.

"I love that quote," I said, turning around.

"I know," James smiled. He was holding a rose.

"You?" I asked.

"I'll love you until the last one dies," James said, placing the last rose in my bouquet. But it didn't look like the rest.

"This one's fake," I said slowly. "It won't die."

James smiled. "What do you say? Will you be my Juliet?"

"There's a problem with that," I said. His smile dropped.

"What?"

"My name's not Juliet." He smiled. I wrapped my around his neck and smiled back.

"So..?" James asked.

"Just shut up and kiss me, Romeo," I smiled.

"Gladly."

**Hope you liked it! Review please :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**So sorry it's been so long! Hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving! Enjoy :) **

**I do not own Big Time Rush! **

**Chapter 12**

The boys ran through the lobby, whooping and cheering, looking happier than ever.

"Hey, boys," I smiled, putting down my book.

"Hey, Ser-bear," James grinned.

"Why are you all so smiley?" I asked, giving James a quick hug.

"We're going back to Minnesota!" they all screamed.

"You're what?" Lizzy, Scarlet, Sydney, and I screamed in shock.

Each of the boys took their girlfriends off individually. James looked a bit nervous. So while I waited for him to talk, I looked at my friends. They each hugged their boyfriends and they all had huge grins on their faces.

"James? Are you ok?" I asked quietly. He looked at me and held my hands in his.

"Come with me," he said.

"What?"

"Come with us to Minnesota," James begged.

"I-I don't know," I said quietly.

"Please? Sydney, Scarlet, and Lizzy are all coming!"

"They are not. Since when?"

"Since just now." I looked at my friends, who shrugged.

"Please? I have to bring someone home with me and you're the only one I want."

"James, I don't know. Back to Minnesota?"

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Please come back with me."

I bit my lip. "Oh, alright," I smiled.

"Yes!" James cheered, picking me up and spinning me.

"When do we leave?" Scarlet asked.

"Two days," Kendall shrugged.

"How long are we there?" Sydney asked.

"Two weeks."

"We need to pack!" all the girls shrieked.

My three friends quickly gave their boyfriends a kiss and said good-bye before racing to the elevator.

"What's the rush? Come hang out with me!" James said, grabbing my hand so I couldn't run.

"James, I'm going to be spending the next two weeks with you! I need to go pack!"

"Serenity," James whined.

I hesitated before planting a quick kiss on his cheek and yanked my wrist out of his grip.

"Text me!" I called before sprinting to the elevator where my friends were impatiently waiting for me.

_Two days later; in the girls' apartment_

"Ok, James. You can quit whining now; bathroom's yours," Logan sighed.

"Go, pretty boy," I laughed.

"No, it's ok. I was already in there," he smiled. We stared at him in awe.

"But we don't have to leave for another ten minutes," Kendall said slowly.

"I told you: it's fine," James stated.

"Since when do you turn down a chance to look in the mirror?" I asked.

"Since I found something more beautiful to look at," he said, gathering me up in his arms.

"You're sweet," I smiled.

"Meet you downstairs?" he whispered.

"Yeah," I answered quietly. With a smile on his face, he let go of me, heading out the door.

"I don't know what you did to him," Kendall started.

"But I kind of like it," Carlos finished, a childish grin spreading across his face.

"Shut up, guys," I blushed. "Let's just go downstairs."

I hated to admit it, but I was so nervous to go back to Minnesota. I wasn't supposed to go back. Arielle said so. Yet here we were, on a plane headed back. I missed my orphanage kids though. But then again, also in Minnesota was my family. The family I don't remember. My mom, my dad, and my three older brothers. But on top of that, Cooper was in Minnesota. And he was still determined to find me.

Nervous was the queen of all understatements.

James must've noticed that I was scared. He didn't let go of my hand from the moment we stepped into the airport.

"You'll be fine," James said, giving my hand a squeeze. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

I sighed. "I know. It's just.. being back. It scares me."

"How are you doing, Hon?" Lizzy asked me.

"Ok," I said nervously. "So what's the first thing you guys want to do there?"

"Well…."

_Two weeks later…_

"Girls, I knew coming back here would be a bad idea," I sighed.

"Why?" Lizzy asked.

"Cuz I don't want to leave."

I looked at my now packed suitcase, wanting so desperately to open it and pull all my stuff out.

"As much as I love L.A., I miss it here too," Lizzy agreed. Sydney and Scarlet nodded.

"And as much as I loved having you home, you girls are crazy," Ari smiled, walking into our room.

"We'll be able to come home for good soon… right?" Scarlet asked.

"I can't make any promises, dear," Ari sighed.

"I'm not leaving," I stated.

"What?" my friends all turned to look at me, confused.

"You heard me. I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here."

"But Serenity! We have to go back!" Scarlet exclaimed

"Why?"

"Because Cooper's in Minnesota. So you need to be in L.A."

"He's not in Minnesota," I said quietly.

"Excuse me?" Ari asked.

"He's not in Minnesota. He's in California."

"How would you know?" Lizzy asked.

"Because.." I trailed off. "Never mind."

"No 'never mind's! Tell us!" Sydney shrieked.

"I got a note," I whispered.

"Saying?" Ari pressed.

I reached into my suitcase, and pulled out the carefully folded piece of paper sitting right on top.

"You kept it?!" Lizzy exclaimed.

Ignoring her comment, I opened the note. "It said 'Thought you could escape me again, Ugly Duckling? You're pathetic. I found you. I'll always find you."

"How does he keep finding you.." Ari asked quietly.

"Who knows," I answered.

Moments of uncomfortable silence passed. Throughout those moments, the only thing I was capable of thinking about was Cooper. Him finding me, finishing what he started. Him killing me…

The doorbell broke the silence. The ringing threw me back into reality, making me jump in the process.

"Spaz," Lizzy joked.

"You're surprised?" I laughed.

We went downstairs and opened the door, where our four favorite boys stood. They wore big winter coats and excited smiles on their faces.

"Hey girls," Kendall said, coming inside and giving Scarlet a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Ready to go back?" Carlos asked, nearly bouncing off the walls.

"Ser, are you ready to go?" James asked, noticing my distance from the others.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"We're talking right now."

"I mean alone," I said, taking his hand and pulling him into another room.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes.. Well.. no," I sighed.

"You are coming back right?"

"That's the thing, James," I whispered. "No, I'm not."

"What? Why?"

"I-I can't go back."

"Why not?" James asked frantically.

"It's not.. safe there any more."

"How is L.A. not safe any more? Wasn't the whole purpose of you going there because it was safe?"

"It was. But things change. He found me in L.A. and it's not safe for me there any more. I need to stay here. He can't find me. Not again."

"We'll protect you, Serenity. He can't hurt you and he won't find you."

"He already found me, James! And do you know what he will do to me if he actually catches me?"

"Kill you?" James gulped.

"Only if I'm really lucky."

"But if you stay, what's going to happen to us?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going to happen to us, James. Promise me."

"I promise. Do you?"

"I pinky swear," I smiled.

"I'll see you soon right?"

"Of course. You should go. You guys have a plane to catch."

James reached out for me, in one last long embrace. I hesitated, before wrapping my arms around his torso.

"Bye Sere," he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"Bye Jamie," I answered, before letting go. I watched as he and all of my friends got in the cars and left.

I sighed and sat down at the table, burying my face in my hands. I wanted to go with them so bad. It almost hurt that I couldn't.

Seconds later, my phone went off.

"Hello?" I answered.

"I miss you already," James's voice sounded from the end.

I laughed lightly. "I miss you too."

"How much longer?" Carlos's voice whined in the background.

"Tell Carlos the flight to L.A. will go by faster than he thinks," I said.

"That's not what he meant," James answered. "He meant how much longer until you come back to L.A."

I sighed. "I-I wish I could tell you."

"It's been all of two minutes and already our group doesn't feel complete," Logan sighed in the back.

"Ok, I have to go," I said quickly, my voice cracking. "Before I start crying."

"Bye, Serenity," James answered, "I lo-" but he cut himself off.

"What?"

"I'll, uh, call you when we land," he answered quickly.

"Alright. I'll talk to you soon. Bye, Jamie."

"Bye."

**Thanks for reading! Review please!:) **


	13. Chapter 13

**Don't kill me! It's been forever! But I'm finally getting around to updating my stories! If anyone has any ideas for this story, I would LOVE to hear them; I need new ideas ;) Anyways, ENJOY!:)**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 13**

"Ari, Ari, Ari, Ari!" I screamed, running through the house. I finally found her in one of the rooms, tucking in one of the younger orphans in the house.

"Hush, Serenity," she scolded lightly.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"Seweny?" the little boy, Michael, asked quietly.

"Hi, Sweetie," I whispered, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Why were you scweaming?" he asked, his big blue eyes looking up at me curiously.

"Oh, that's right," I smiled, smoothing down his soft brown hair. "Ari, Big Time Rush and the girls are having a beach day next week. Can I go? Please?"

"What's so important about this beach day?" she asked.

"Because Gustavo actually gave them a day off so they could go to the beach! The girls want me to come to surprise them."

"You're weaving?" Michael asked sadly. His adorable little four-year-old voice made me want to pull him out from under the covers and hug him.

"Not forever, hon," I smiled slightly. "Just for a little while."

"Ok," he muttered tiredly, his eyes drooping shut.

"Can I go?" I whispered to Ari.

She nodded. "Say hi to James for me."

"Thank you!" I whispered excitedly, jumping off of Michael's bed and hugging her. Quietly so I wouldn't wake up Michael, I tip-toed out of the room and headed towards my room to pack.

Days later, I was almost finished packing when my phone went off. Michael, who was sitting on the edge of my bed watching me pack, noticed and handed me my phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Sere!"

"James!"

"What's up?"

"Not much. Just hanging out with Michael."

"Who's Michael?"

"Only the cutest boy ever," I cooed, tapping Michael on the nose.

"I see," James said slowly.

"So what's up with you?"

"Not much. Counting down the days until the guys and I get a day off for the beach!"

"That's exciting! Oh my goodness, I'm so jealous of you guys. I miss the sun with a burning passion."

"Yeah, well I miss you with a burning passion," he sighed.

"Aww!" I grinned.

"Come visit soon?"

"I'm trying, Jamie," I sighed. "But you know why I can't."

"I know. It just sucks."

"You're telling me," I said quietly.

"Aw crap. Break's over. I'll talk to you soon?"

"Definitely. Bye James."

"Bye Serenity." I hung up and tossed my phone back on my bed.

"Who was that?" Michael asked.

"That was my boyfriend, James," I smiled. "I'm going to see him soon."

"Why isn't he hewe?"

"Because he works in California," I answered, getting back to my packing.

"Why aren't you there?"

"Because I have to look after you, silly!" I smiled, not wanting to tell him that it wasn't safe there for me.

"I can look aftew mysewf. I'm a big boy!" he huffed his chest.

"Oh, I know, hon," I grinned. "I think Ari's making dinner now. Why don't you head down and see if she needs any help?"

"Ok!" he chirped, running away with his superman cape flying behind him.

"Crazy kid," I smiled to myself. By the time Michael came to get me for dinner, I had finished packing and was ready to leave the next day.

"Michael, did you know I'm leaving tomorrow?" I asked.

"Where are you going?" he asked, taking a big bite of his mac n cheese.

"I'm going to California," I answered.

"That's where James is!" he chirped. Surprised he remembered that, I smiled.

"That's right. So I won't be here for a while."

"Will you be back for pweschool?" he asked. Within a few months, Michael would be starting preschool and he talked about it all the time.

"Of course! I wouldn't miss your first day of preschool for the world," I smiled.

"What time is your flight?" Ari asked.

"It's early," I whined. "3 A.M."

"Oh goodness," Ari shook her head.

"I'll sleep on the flight," I sighed.

"Seweny, I'm gonna miss you!" Michael whined suddenly.

"Aw I'm going to miss you too, Buddy," I smiled. "Will you let Ari help you write letters to me while I'm away?"

"Yeah!" he smiled.

"Is that ok?" I asked, turning to Ari.

"Well, I'll be writing and calling you anyways. Why not," she grinned.

"Seweny, can I meet James?"

"I'm sure he'd love to meet you."

"Do you like him?"

"I do. He's a special one."

**Just a cute little chapter :) Review please! And feel free to leave any ideas you may have for later chapters! (Just not the beach- I've already got that planned out) :) **


	14. Chapter 14

**So I finally finished this story and I'm really excited for you guys to read it! Just like my other books with Kenny, this will NOT be the only story about Serenity :) I'm super excited and I hope you guys are too ;)**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 14**

"You made it!" Katie exclaimed, hugging me.

"Hey, Kates!" I yelled over the loud music in Russell Brand's beach house.

"Katie!" someone called. I looked over to see Russell Brand motioning for Katie to come.

"Gotta go! The job awaits," Katie smiled, running over to him. I looked after her in disbelief- a job. With Russell Brand. That girl.

"Serenity!" Camille exclaimed after running into me. Her eyes were wide.

"Hey, Camille," I smiled.

"Hey," she said nervously.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. But, um, just warning you, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I asked. She just looked at me with sorrowful eyes and walked away.

Shaking it off, I turned my attention to Russell Brand, who had started screaming very loudly.

"Let's welcome, Big Time Rush!" Russell was followed shortly by applause. I grinned as I faced the stage. As usual, the boys performed fantastically. It was always so much fun watching the boys perform; they always looked like they were having a blast.

I watched as Kendall spotted Scarlet, waving to her and blowing a loving kiss to her. Then James waved to a girl in the crowd, who blew a kiss to him. Brushing it off as nothing, I kept dancing to Big Time Rush's version of "Dance, Dance, Dance" by the Beach Boys.

Once the song ended, I pushed past the crowd to find James. I found him talking to Kendall, Logan and Carlos- with his arms wrapped around the girl who blew him a kiss.

"So I take it she's not a mermaid?" Kendall asked James jokingly.

"Nope," James said proudly. "I can kiss her and I won't turn into a mermaid." The girl smiled and turned to kiss him.

"Ahem," I said. James jumped and looked at me; his eyes widened. He pushed the girl away and looked at me as if nothing had happened.

"Serenity!" he exclaimed, forcing a guilty smile.

"James, who is she?" I asked.

"I'm Annie; James's girlfriend," she smiled proudly.

"Girlfriend," I mouth to James, trying as hard as I could not to glare.

"Who are you?" Annie asked.

"A friend," I hissed. I walked up to James and said, "Girlfriend. Really?"

"No, Serenity, please. Let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain, James! You need to choose: me or her." James was silent as he looked back and forth from Annie to me.

"_Any guy who has to take this long to choose isn't worth it,"_ I thought angrily. As tears filled my eyes, I leaned closer to James.

"You know what, you can have her. It's not worth it," I said quietly. James looked at me, worry filling his eyes. I had hoped he would say he chose me. But he didn't say anything.

"Screw you, James Diamond. Screw you," I hissed, and walked away before tears filled my eyes.

I vaguely heard my friends screaming at James, then turning to their boyfriends who tried to defend their friend. I couldn't turn around and tell them to stop screaming. They probably deserved it.

I decided to take a walk down the beach to clear my head. I started questioning why James would cheat on me. The only reason I could think of was I wasn't good enough for him; I wasn't pretty enough. James was all about the looks, after all.

Taking a deep breath, I blinked my tears back.

"Serenity!" James called. I groaned silently and quickened my pace.

"Serenity, please, wait!"

"Leave me alone, James!" I screamed, turning around.

"Serenity, please!"

"No, James. I don't want to talk."

"Serie," he said, running in front of me. He stopped and put his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to stop as well. I looked away. He put his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him.

"Have you been crying?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. That's kind of what girls do when they find out their boyfriend cheated on them," I growled.

"Look, I get it. You're mad."

"Got that right," I hissed.

"But you really should be blaming yourself for this."

"Why? Because I'm not _pretty_ enough for you? Because I'm not _good_ enough?" I hissed.

"What?" James asked me in disbelief. "You actually think you're not _pretty _enough?"

"Just get on with it," I answered quietly, looking away.

"You think I don't notice all that flirting with that guy?" James asked.

"What guy?"

"That guy back in Minnesota! The one who always writes love notes to you and you said was the cutest boy in the world."

"You mean Michael?"

"That's his name," James mumbled.

"You think I like him?" I exclaimed. "James! Michael's a four year old boy back at the orphanage!"

"Orphanage?" James asked, confused.

"Forget that!" I exclaimed.

"Why didn't you at least ask me about it first before going off and dating some other girl?" I asked.

"No one cheats on James Diamond!" James yelled.

"You are so self-centered!" I screamed.

"Oh, yeah? Well if you hate that so much, why did you even go out with me?"

"I don't even know any more!" I exclaimed. "Why did I ever say 'yes' to you?!"

"I don't know! Why did I even ask you out? You're not even my type!"

"Yeah, like you're _way_ out of my league," I exclaimed sarcastically.

"Exactly! There's no way you and I could ever be a good couple." I had to admit, I was a bit taken aback.

"So what's the point of you even liking me if I'm _that_ bad?" I exclaimed.

"I don't know _what_ I was thinking!" James exclaimed.

"Why even bother talking to me then?" I asked, quieting my voice.

"Serenity, a-are you crying?"

I wiped a tear from my cheek, without answering.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Well, you did. It's too late now," I answered quietly.

"No, Serie, don't say that."

"You know, he was right," I said, trying to force a smile but failing.

"Who?"

"_Him_. Mr. Cooper."

"How?"

"He used to say love doesn't exist; I shouldn't even bother with love because all that will come out of it is a broken heart."

"Serenity, don't bring him into this."

"That's all that came out of this, James! A broken heart! And now I'm left to pick up the pieces."

"Serenity…" James trailed off.

"Go away, James. What done is done. Nothing you say will make this better."

"Please," James said, his voice cracking slightly.

"You win, James. I'm giving up."

"Giving up?"

"On you. Good luck with Annie."

"But-"

"No, James," I interrupted. "Just walk away. Make this easier. Just… walk away."

Without another word, James slowly walked away.

I should've known better than to give my heart to a player. But something about the way he treated me and talked to me made me feel almost special. Maybe that's just what a player does. He wins you over, makes you feel special, then dumps you- rips your heart to shreds and leaves you to pick up the pieces.

But James didn't seem like that kind of person. I mean, I could've sworn I saw a tear make its way down his cheek. But that wasn't possible. James Diamond doesn't cry over girls. He's too "cool" for that. And he _definitely _wouldn't cry over me… Right?

Right. I'm giving up on love. He was right. He was always right.

**Sad sad sad :( Next chapter will probably be up tomorrow. Review please :) **


	15. Chapter 15

**Ahhhh :) you guys have no idea how excited I am for you to read the ending of this story :) thank you so much to Chaoscrew and AddictedToMusic18 for your reviews; they made me smile :) **

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 15**

"Hey, Serie. Want to hang out today?" Kendall asked.

"Um, sure," I said hesitantly. Honestly, I didn't want to see James. At all.

"Cool. Meet you up at our room in say 15 minutes?"

"Kay," I answered. Kendall smiled and jogged towards the lobby. I sighed and leaned back against the lounge chair.

"I don't know if I want to hang out any more," I grumbled. Lizzy looked at me.

"You have every right to be mad," Scarlet said.

"I know," I sighed. "But you guys don't. Just because I'm mad at James doesn't mean you guys need to hate your boyfriends."

"But we're your friends. We have every right to hate someone that you hate," Sydney said.

"No. I don't want you guys to hate him too," I said.

"Too bad," Lizzy said.

"Lizzy, I'm serious. He didn't do anything to you."

"He did something to you. That affects us," Sydney said.

I sighed. "I have to go. We'll continue this later." I got up and headed towards 2J.

I knocked on the door once I got there, waiting impatiently for the boys to open the door.

"Serenity?" James answered the door.

_Crap._ "Where's Kendall?" I asked.

"Uh, not here. He and the guys went to the hockey rink a few minutes ago."

"Why didn't you go?"

"I didn't feel up for it."

"But you love hockey," I said slowly.

"Yeah, well, ever since we broke up, I just haven't been able to do anything that used to be fun for me," he answered quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I just.. can't. It sounds so cheesy and lame but I can't stand the thought of you hating me so much that nothing but you appeals to me."

"Oh," I answered.

"I miss you, Serie."

"Yeah, well, I don't," I lied quietly.

"I ended things with Annie."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Please, Serenity. I miss you like crazy."

"I can't, James. I need to go. I'm sorry."

"Ok," he answered quietly, his eyes shining slightly. "Bye, Serenity."

"Bye, James." And with that I left. I headed down the hallway, past my apartment, and down the elevator to the lobby where I hoped my friends were still waiting.

And they were still there. I heaved a sigh of relief before rushing them with fresh tears in my eyes.

"Serenity? What happened?" Lizzy asked.

"J-James," I answered through tears. "He was there."

"What happened? I thought Kendall, Logan, and Carlos were going to hang out with you, not James!"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. They all went to the hockey rink a few minutes ago," I answered.

"Those boys are starting to piss me off," Sydney growled.

"You're telling me!" I exclaimed.

"I'm gonna be having a long talk with Kendall when they get back," Scarlet hissed.

"Screw it," I sighed. "It doesn't even matter any more."

"Yes it does!" Lizzy exclaimed.

"No. It doesn't. I'm done with James and I'm done with L.A."

"It'll be ok. You've still got us!" I heard Carlos's voice ring through the lobby.

I shot a glare in the direction of Big Time Rush.

"No," I hissed. "I'm _especially_ done with Big Time Rush." The boys' jaws dropped to the floor in shock before they started rambling apologies.

I just shook my head and stomped off towards the elevators back to my elevator.

Back in my room, I was about to break down crying again. I sat down on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest. Slowly, tears slid down my cheeks.

"Are you ok?" Sydney asked quietly, sitting down next to me.

"I just lost four of my friends," I whispered hoarsely. "I hate guys." Lizzy sat down on the other side of me, resting her head on my shoulder.

Two days later….

"Serenity, come on. You love watching the red carpets!" Scarlet exclaimed.

"Yeah, but this time Big Time Rush is going to be there," I sighed.

"Oh, come on. Watch with us," Sydney said, sitting down on the couch.

"Ugh, fine," I groaned, sitting down next to her. Lizzy sat next to me and Scarlet sat at the end of the couch next to Lizzy.

I draped my legs over Sydney's and rested on my head on Lizzy's lap.

We watched the red carpet, adoring some of the dresses and laughing at other outfits. We matched couples and overall had a great time- until Big Time Rush stepped out of their limo.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

Lizzy started stroking my hair, claiming it smelled soft, while trying to distract me.

"Boys, boys! Tell us about your girlfriends!" the reporter on the news exclaimed.

Kendall, Logan, and Carlos started rambing on about how amazing Scarlet, Sydney and Lizzy were- all while leaving their names out of it to keep our lives private- while James stood next to them silently, posing for a few pictures here and there.

"And what about you, James? It's rumored that you are the 'Face' of the group; the 'Lone Ranger.' But is there a girl in your life?"

James was silent for a moment before saying, "My love life is a bit difficult at the moment, actually." A couple seconds passed as his bit his lip nervously.

"Truth is, I'm in love with a girl named Serenity Dawn."

Lizzy leaned forward to grab the remote while I shot up, smacking my head against hers.

"Ow," I muttered. Lizzy stood up, knocking me off the couch and into the table.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, holding my hand over the bump on my head and rolling on the floor.

"Sor-" Lizzy started but got so engrossed in the TV she didn't finish her apology.

"Truth is, I'm in love with a girl named Serenity Dawn," I heard again.

"Aww," my friends cooed.

"Truth is, I'm in love with a girl named Serenity Dawn," James said again.

"Truth is, I'm in love with a girl named Serenity Dawn." There was no way he said it that many times. I looked at Lizzy, who was staring at the TV with the remote in her hands, rewinding after James was done talking.

"Lizzy! It's not _that_ big of a deal!" I exclaimed.

"Yes it is!" my friends yelled at me.

"Ok it is," I mumbled, sitting on the other couch. Lizzy kept rewinding. After fifteen minutes, it was getting old. Knowing that there was no way Lizzy was going to let us finish watching the red carpet, I walked to my room, falling on my bed and turning on the radio. A few minutes later, the phone rang. I ignored it, knowing my friends would get it.

Another fifteen minutes passed before someone knocked on the door to our apartment.

"I got it!" Scarlet yelled.

"No, I got it!" Sydney exclaimed.

"Serie, someone's at the door!" Lizzy exclaimed; I heard the TV play James's statement once again.

"Just ignore it!" I exclaimed. I laid back against my pillow, closing my eyes and quietly singing along to Adele's "Rolling in the Deep."

Suddenly, the window to my room opened and someone crept in. I gasped and shrieked. Then I saw it was James.

"Oh my gosh, James. You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I exclaimed.

"Serenity, we need to talk," he said.

"Talk about what, James? There's nothing left to talk about," I sighed.

"Serie, I love you," James said quietly.

"I think you need to leave," I whispered, tears stinging at the corner of my eyes.

"Serenity-" James started.

"Just go," I whispered, opening the door to lead him out.

"What's Lizzy listening to?" James asked, hearing "Truth is, I'm in love with a girl named Serenity Dawn."

All the lights were off in the living room, except for the TV. The light reflected onto Lizzy, showing the goofy smile on her face as she constantly rewound the TV to hear James's statement.

James smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"Serenity, you have to believe me. I love _you_! I even said it on TV!"

"I'm sorry, James," I said, gently pushing him out the door. "I can't trust you any more." I closed the door, my vision blurred, the tears filling my eyes.

"I love how you're reacting more love sick than I should be!" I exclaimed, my voice cracking slightly with tears.

"Some one has to react!" Lizzy called back. I rolled my eyes and retreated to my room.

Why can't I just move on?

**Silly Serenity. Review please :) **


	16. Chapter 16

**So... this is kinda a slow chapter that will have more meaning in the next book.. just warning you! and GUESS WHAT. I started writing book 2 of this and I'm super pumped :) Enjoy!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 16**

"My dad's coming to L.A. next week," Nikki said slowly. We had been lying on the lounge chairs by the pool for hours at that point, talking about anything and everything we could think of.

"That's exciting!"

"No, it's not," she answered, biting her lip. "My mom and I… we aren't huge fans of my dad at the moment."

"Why not?"

"He's kind of losing it. It's… I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"Well, we're here for you, if you need us," I responded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you," she smiled.

"Hey, you want a smoothie?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I've been craving one for, like, an hour now." I got off my chair and headed to the smoothie stand, asking for two strawberry smoothies. Just as I was about to pay, a handful of money moved past my face and paid for me.

"Hey, thanks," I said, turning to see none other than Dak Zevon.

"No problem," he smiled. My eyes widened.

"Oh my goodness," I said slowly. "You're Dak Zevon."

"The one and only!" I covered my face with the smoothies and turned around laughing awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," I laughed. "This is crazy. You're like.. famous."

"Almost everyone here is," he laughed. "But it's refreshing to see someone who doesn't let fame get to their head."

"I'm not famous," I answered slowly.

"Nah, but your boyfriend is."

"Boyfriend?"

"You're Serenity Dawn, aren't you?"

"Yes…" Realization hit. The red carpet last night. "I'm not dating James Diamond."

Dak smiled at me. "Just don't tell him I bought your smoothies for you," he said with a wink.

"No problem," I answered, sarcastically rolling my eyes.

"Hey, do you want to hang out some time? Not like a date, but just as friends."

"I'd like that," I smiled as Dak pulled a pen out of his pocket and wrote his phone number on my hand. I walked back to Nikki, handing her her smoothie, paid by Dak Zevon himself.

"Did you just score a date with Dak Zevon?" Nikki asked, raising her sunglasses to the top of her head.

"Psh, no," I laughed. "We're just going to hang out."

"You just get all the boys, don't you," she laughed.

"What was that?" James asked, appearing next to my lounge chair with Kendall, Logan, and Carlos next to him.

"I'm sorry?" James pointed to my hand with Dak's number on it.

"It's Dak Zevon's number," I replied casually, although it was still weird for me.

"Why do you have his number?"

"I'm sorry, I thought we broke up," I hissed. James paused for a moment, looking taken aback.

"Did you mean anything you said to me when we were?" James asked. I felt my heart pound in my chest.

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you love me?" I paused for a minute, every fiber of my being wanted to scream "Yes!" and kiss him.

"No."

"No?" James asked, looking hurt.

"You heard me."

"Well.. Good. Because I don't love you either."

"Well, I'm glad we're on a mutual understanding then."

"Good," he answered.

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine!" I exclaimed. James huffed and stormed off. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan looked me, jaws dropped. Finally, it seemed to hit them that James was gone and they scrambled off after him.

"What did I just see?" Nikki shook her head.

"I don't know," I whined, falling back against the chair. So he was over me. Fine.

**Well, cool Serenity and James. Just man up and kiss each other already! Goodness! LOL thanks for reading :) Please check out my other stories, the Living Dreams series! I'm almost finished with the final story; it all starts with Never Would Have Dreamed. You guys are amazing! :) Review please! **


	17. Chapter 17

**I got too excited to wait until tomorrow to upload... :) Plus, two short chapters = one long one right? **

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 17**

"Hello?" I answered my phone just as I was leaving my apartment.

"Seweny!"

"Hi, Michael," I grinned. "How are you?"

"Pweschool's stawting!"

"I know! Are you excited?"

"Mhm! Are you and James coming?"

I froze. "Of course I'll be there, Hon. But James might not."

"Why not?" I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"James was mean and he and I aren't friends anymore," I answered, trying to disguise the pain in my voice.

At that point, I had walked out to the pool and froze in my spot.

"Michael, I need to go," I said slowly. "I'll talk to you later."

"Aww, ok. Bye Seweny! I love you!" he chirped in his little four-year-old voice.

"Bye, Bud," I said and hung up. I stood gaping at the scene in front of me for what seemed like ages before I could finally process what was going on.

Paris. Paris in the pool.

Lights decorated the entire area and reflected in the pool. Lounge chairs had been replaced with metal tables and chairs. And on the other end of the pool was a smaller version of the Eiffel Tower.

Holy. Crap.

"Do you like it?" James whispered in my ear.

"Like it? Holy crap," I answered excitedly. "This is incredible! Paris in L.A.!"

"I hoped you'd like it. I wanted to do something nice for you, especially after all the crap I put you through." He sounded nervous. "And I know how badly you've always wanted to go to Paris and…"

"James, this is really sweet. Thank you." His eyes lit up.

"Care to join me in a night around Paris?" he held his arm out and I linked my arm through his.

"Lead the way."

"How does the Louvre sound?"

"The Louvre? How—"

"Shhh. Let me take care of this."

I laughed and followed him around the pool. We sat down in two chairs and he whipped out his phone.

I laughed as he scrolled through pictures of art in the Louvre and talked about the artistic quality of each.

After we went across the pool to have dinner, served by Kendall, Logan and Carlos. James and I laughed at their fake French accents that they somehow managed to keep.

"Are you ready for the best part?"

I nodded eagerly. "There's better?"

"Of course! Always the best for you."

I smiled as I allowed him to lead me across the pool. James let me behind the mini Eiffel Tower and up a small ladder. Because there wasn't much room at the top, James gripped me by the waist to ensure I wouldn't fall.

"I can't believe you'd do this for me," I said quietly.

"I could answer you, but you don't want to hear the answer."

"Tell me."

"Serie… Do you believe in second chances?"

I shifted so I was facing him. Without saying another word, we slowly leaned towards each other and before I knew it, our lips met.

And for a moment, I forgot about everything.

We broke away and pressed our foreheads to each other.

"I really shouldn't…" I whispered.

"I promise I won't make a mistake with you again. It was a misunderstanding. You mean too much to me."

"Maybe I do believe in second chances," I said slowly.

Without another word, James pressed his lips to mine.

"I love you," he muttered.

"I know." He looked at me curiously, his lips curving up in a small confused smile.

"The last rose hasn't died yet."

**THE LAST LINE THOUGH. Did anyone else die of cute? No? Just me? Oh. Review please :) **


	18. Chapter 18

**I love you guys. The reviews make me smile :) **

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Chapter 18**

"I honestly _cannot_ believe you," I whispered.

"Serenity, come on, listen to me," James pleaded.

"Why should I, James? I try so hard not to freak about every little thing because it makes me seem like such a bad girlfriend but you make it so difficult! I mean, I just forgave you and all the sudden I find out you're getting _married?_ In what world would I not be upset?" I exclaimed.

"I-it wasn't supposed to mean anything," James whispered. "It was just a rose!"

"Like that's supposed to make me feel any better," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry; I'm still getting used to the whole long-term relationship thing," James said.

"James, I don't know how many more of this I can take," I said.

"It was supposed to be for you," he shook his head. "I was on my way up to your room and the elevator opened and then everything just happened so fast."

"James…"

"I know, Serie. And I'm sorry," James said, hanging his head. "But I'm scared. I don't want to marry her."

"If I know anything about you or Kendall, Logan, and Carlos, I know you'll get through it," I said.

"I guess," James said, looking at me.

"See?" I started quietly. "This is what happens when you decide to switch up the color of my roses."

James eyes lit up and he smiled at me. "I'll keep that in mind." He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before running to find the rest of the boys.

I shook my head, wondering what I was going to do with that child. In the process of thinking, I accidentally walked right into Nikki.

"Oh, hey Nikki!" I exclaimed. "Sorry about that."

"Hey, Serenity," she answered, looking at me with dark eyes. As I had gotten to know her, I learned that her eyes seemed to change color with her mood. When she was happy, her eyes were almost gold. But as her mood darkened, so did her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"My dad gets in tomorrow," she answered quietly, tucking her dark brown hair behind her ear.

"Oh, shoot," I answered slowly. "Do you want us to be there when he gets here?"

"I'd love for you to," she sounded unsure of herself. "But my dad's a little.. weird. I don't want him to scare you guys away."

"Hey now," I put a hand on her shoulder. "We're not going to run away because of a scary father. We're tougher than that."

"Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Of course," I answered. "You're our friend. We're here for you."

She smiled. "He gets in tomorrow night."

"Here's hoping the whole marriage fiasco is over by then," I rolled my eyes. Nikki raised an eyebrow at me.

"James was being stupid. Again."

"He's _your_ boyfriend," she laughed. I had only really heard Nikki laugh a handful of times. It was melodious, contagious, and filled me with a sense of accomplishment. She was quiet and repressed. But when she laughed, she was telling us that she was letting us in.

The next day, the nine of us waited for the arrival of Nikki's father. Her mom was in their apartment, cleaning up and making sure everything was ready. Nikki was on edge all day. When we were in the lobby, Nikki sat apart from us, knees curled up to her chest, quietly solving a Rubik's Cube.

The rest of us were up to our usual craziness. Bitters was obviously upset by all the teenagers crowding up his lobby so late at night. But, just like any other time of the day, we continued on.

The girls and I sat on the floor, eagerly talking about having a chick flick movie night.

"Can we _please_ watch Safe Haven?" Lizzy begged.

"And The Lucky One!"

"Yes! Zac Efron, yum!" I exclaimed.

"Excuse me," James tapped me on the shoulder. "Your eyes are blue. Like the ocean."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're so weird."

"And baby, I'm lost at sea," he finished. If he wasn't so darn cute, I would've left right there. Cheesy pick-up lines were so.. cheesy. "Can I have directions?"

"To where?" I asked slowly.

"To your heart." Sydney rolled her eyes. We all knew she was _not_ a fan of pick-up lines.

"Okay," I said slowly, turning back to the girls. "How about The Last Song?"

"Yes!" Scarlet exclaimed eagerly.

"You can fall off a building," James continued. "You can fall out a tree. But baby, the best way to fall is in love with me."

I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks. Despite the fact that it should have been really embarrassing for me, I turned around to James, asking, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to see if pick-up lines really work," he responded as if it was nothing.

"No, they really don't," Sydney shook her head.

"Oh, good," Carlos heaved a sigh of relief. "I was hoping you wouldn't like them, because I don't know _any_."

"Good," Sydney smirked.

"But it was a cute attempt," I smiled, pecking James on the cheek.

"Hi, Dad," Nikki's voice sounded.

"Hi, Chickie," her father responded happily. I looked down, pressing my eyebrows together. His voice was eerily familiar. It sent chills down my spine.

I turned to face him. "No," I whispered under my breath, my eyes widening.

"Um," Nikki sounded uncomfortable. "I want you to meet my friends. This is Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, Lizzy, Scarlet, Sydney, and Serenity."

Nikki's dad went down the line, shaking hands with each person. When he got to me, he looked me in the eye and I drew in my breath.

"You," I whispered shakily. He took my hand, nearly crushing the bones in his shake.

"Found you, Ugly Duckling," he smiled wickedly.

"Let go, please," I choked out quietly. "You're hurting me." My knees started to give out from under me and I nearly dropped to the floor. But I refused to fall and give him the satisfaction of seeing me as weak.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Nikki asked, looking over her dad's shoulder with curious brown eyes.

"Just saying hi to an old friend, Chickie," he answered, letting go of my now throbbing hand.

"You two know each other?"

"Way back when," he smiled at her. He turned to me, leaning over and whispering, "Tell anyone and I'll kill you like that." He snapped his fingers quickly. I nodded and blinked furiously at the tears that threatened.

"Well, I should probably bring you upstairs to Mom," Nikki said. "See you later, guys." She waved and led her father to the elevator. He took one last look at me, snapping once more in a clear message.

I couldn't breathe. After all this time, he finally found me.

"Sere?" James asked, touching my shoulder lightly. Even under James's gentle touch, I cringed away. "Are you ok?"

"I-I'm fine," I answered shakily. "Um, I need to go take care of something."

Before any of my friends could argue, I fled to the stairs, running up two floors. I got to my apartment and ran into my room, throwing the drawers open to find the letter that started it all.

"_Hey, Ugly Duckling._

_ Thought you could escape me, huh? You've set a very bad example. Your friend escaped days after you. Then my wife left. After, my own daughter left me. But now, I've found you. And I'm coming for you."_

I fell to the floor crying. "Your friend escaped days after you." At least she was free. I thought back to the years I had desperately tried to forget. Two years after my kidnapping, Cooper had thrown another girl into the basement. Her once obviously pretty blonde hair was twisted and knotted, coated in dirt. Her brown eyes were shining with tears and she looked at me with fear in her eyes. We soon looked to each other for help and safety. We held each other when we heard Cooper's ominous footsteps coming down the stairs. Her name was Violet.

Then I thought to the day I escaped. Cooper had left the door open a crack. I called to Violet to come with me. I cried that that was our only chance of getting away from him. She was so brave, even for being only twelve. She said she would keep an eye out for Cooper while I made my escape. It took a lot of convincing, but I finally left, grateful forever to her. The guilt ate me away slowly as I realized that I left her behind with a furious abuser. But the note gave me reassurance. She had escaped. And she was safe.

I hadn't even heard the door open and barely noticed someone take the note from my hand. As someone wrapped their arms around me, I winced, squeezing my eyes shut. Sobs escaped from my lips.

"I won't let him hurt you, Serenity," he whispered. James. I was safe. For now.

In one hand, he held the note that I had in my hand moments before. The other hand was rubbing soothing circles in my back. His words echoed in my mind: I won't let him hurt you.

"Y-you read t-the note," I accused shakily.

He nodded, pulling me into him. I sat across his lap, burying my face in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms protectively around my body.

I sniffed and sighed. "Great. We're going to die."

"I promise he won't come near you."

"I'm so scared," I whispered.

"You don't need to be. I'm here for you."

"There's nothing you can do," I answered quietly, gripping his shirt.

His face was centimeters away from mine. I closed the distance, leaning my forehead against his cheek. "We have time," James said.

"No, we don't," I argued. "Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"H-he found me," I said, breaking down into sobs once again.

"Shh," James mumbled softly. "What do you mean, he's found you?"

"He's here," I choked. James leaned back, wiping the tears from my cheeks and replacing them with soft kisses.

"Who is he?"

"Nikki's dad," I blurted out without thinking.

"We'll fix this," James said reassuringly. "He won't get you."

"There's nothing you can do," I said, leaning into James once again. "He's set his sights on me. And when he wants something, he will stop at nothing to get it."

**Oh snap! Did anyone see that coming? I hope not ;) Review please :) **


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

James did his best to never leave my side. But with no one else knowing the situation, he could only do so much. At one point during the day, James and the rest of Big Time Rush had to go to Rocque Records to record for their new album.

I checked my surroundings in the pool to make sure Cooper was nowhere in sight. I ran to the elevator, knowing the coast was clear for the moment. Or so I thought. Seemingly out of nowhere, Cooper appeared next to me.

"Time to get rid of that pretty little boyfriend of yours," he whispered. His voice sent chills throughout my body.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, Ugly Duckling, have you learned nothing? Nothing good comes from love. I'm doing you a favor," he cooed. "I'll save you the heartbreak."

"Why can't you just let me be happy?" I whispered.

"I think Nikayla would look _much_ better with him, don't you?" I let out a soft breath.

"Fine. I'll break up with him."

"Good," he smirked. "Catch you later." I burst through the elevator doors, quickly pressing the close button. I avoided James for the rest of the day.

But I knew I couldn't avoid him forever. He sent me a text later that night, saying "_Where have you been? Meet me down at the lobby in ten minutes. I love you." _

"No, don't say that," I whined softly. "You're making this so hard." I sighed, tucking my phone into my back pocket, and headed downstairs.

I got down to the lobby, where Nikki was waiting with a huge grin on her face. She was nothing like her father. She was so sweet and genuine. I knew she had no idea about her father. I couldn't hate her. Her mother was just the same. Her father was just… the evil one. Nikki took my arm and gently led me outside.

I drew in my breath. Stopped next to the curb was a huge carriage with two white horses standing in front. James stood in front, looking as cute as ever, smiling at me.

"I think you need something to take your mind off of everything," James said. "And what better than to spend the night with the best boyfriend ever?"

I smiled slightly, loving it. Loving him.

"Are you ready for your fairy tale?" he asked.

"This is like what my mom said we planned out for our future," I smiled. James smiled back at me, bowing, and held his hand out for me to take. While every ounce of me wanted to take his hand and sit with him in the fairy tale moment that we had planned out since we were five, Cooper's voice echoed in my mind.

"I love you, James," I whispered. "You're my best friend." He grinned, extending his hand out farther.

I took a deep breath. "But you know as well as I do that fairy tales don't exist," I whispered, tears stinging at the corner of my eyes. James's hand dropped and his face fell. "And even if they did, I would be the last one to deserve one."

"Of course you deserve one," he countered quietly. "You deserve to be swept off your feet by your Prince Charming and ride off into the sunset in a horse-drawn carriage."

"No, I don't," I whispered. "I don't need sympathetic romance, James. I've seen the way you look at Nikki. You have the carriage now and she's right inside. Go sweep her off her feet before the sun sets."

James took a stride towards me, cupping my jaw with one hand and taking my hand with the other. "What are you doing, Serenity?"

"I've been thinking," I sniffed, pulling my hand out of his. "And her family and I agree that you would be _much_ better off with a girl like Nikki." _Please please pick up what I'm throwing out there._

He looked at me, face scrunched slightly in confusion. But then the realization hit.

"Coo-" he started.

"Shh," I cut him off. "I'm sorry, James."

"Don't do this. Serenity, I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered. "That's why I have to protect you."

"Let me help you."

"I can't put you in risk," I said. "Good-bye." I walked down the road and back, hoping I would be calm enough to walk through the lobby and up to my room before I broke down.

In the lobby, James was talking to Nikki. Oh crap. What was he talking to her about? Nikki's mouth fell open. I shook my head and ran through the lobby.

The first voice I heard was Mr. Bitters screaming, "No running in the lobby!" The second was Nikki, screaming my name. The third was James, calling for me to come back. I ignored all three and ran up the stairs to my apartment.

**I know they just got back together :( don't hate me for breaking them up again! but unfortunately, this break-up is CRUCIAL to the next story! 3 more chapters until Nothing But a Memory is complete! Ahhh! Review please :) **


	20. Chapter 20

**Ahh your reviews all make me so happy :) You guys are amazing!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 20**

To say the next day was a little awkward was an understatement. No one else knew what had happened the night before, or that James and I had broken up. Nikki had told us that her father left early because he and her mother had gotten in a heated argument the night before. Cooper was on his way back to Minnesota.

But I knew better. He had probably just told her that so there would be no red flags when he pursued me.

When we all hung out that night by the pool, I left early, claiming that I was tired. As I headed back upstairs, James caught my wrist and pulled me back.

"You heard Nikki," he said. "Cooper's gone. You're safe now. Come back to me."

I pulled my wrist and shook my head. "I spent six years held captive by him," I answered. "I'm not safe. He's not gone; he never will be."

Without another word, I went back to my apartment. I pulled out my keys and looked down the hallway to the door. I froze in place. The door was slightly ajarr, looking as if someone had tried to break down the door.

I walked into my eerily dark and creepy apartment, heart still racing from the broken down door. A small note sat on the counter. I slowly inched towards the note, reading three simple words: "I warned you."

Suddenly, someone covered my mouth with a rag. I tried to scream but it muffled my shrieks.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" an uncomfortably familiar voice chuckled evilly.

And then everything went black.

_James's POV_

"Nikki," I whispered, pulling Nikki aside. "She still thinks he's coming after her."

"My dad is crazy," Nikki answered, shaking her head. "But I didn't think he'd be crazy enough to kidnap and abuse someone."

"And on top of it all, it was my Serenity."

"It really is sweet how much you care for her."

"But is she really safe?"

"My mom and I took my dad to the airport this morning. He should be back in Minnesota by now."

"And what if he's crazy enough to just go to the airport to make Serenity think she's safe?"

"We'll just have to keep an eye on her." I nodded slowly.

"Alright."

"James?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I really am so sorry. For my dad. I just.. I can't believe he'd do something like that. But I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure Serenity is safe."

"Thank you," I answered, smiling slightly.

An hour and a half passed by since Serenity went back to her apartment and the rest of us decided it was time to turn in. We went our separate ways.

The guys and I walked into our apartment, exhausted. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan plopped down on the couch and turned on the latest Minnesota Wild game. I stood in the kitchen, pulling out a bagel.

I had just taken a bite when Scarlet, Sydney, and Lizzy nearly broke down our door.

"Serenity's missing!" they shrieked. I nearly choked on my bagel.

"What?" I exclaimed. Lizzy shoved a small piece of paper in my hand . I quickly unfolded it and read: "I warned you."

"Crap!" I hissed, slamming my fist down on the counter. "I thought she was finally safe."

"James, do you know what happened?" Kendall exclaimed frantically.

"Nikki's dad is the guy that kidnapped her," I moaned, covering my face in my hands.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Lizzy shrieked.

"Serenity wouldn't let me tell anyone!" I exclaimed. "I assumed you guys knew!"

"No!" they all yelled.

"That's why Nikki got rid of him," I whined. "We thought she was safe because he was gone."

"We need to go find Nikki. Now," Logan commanded. We practically climbed over each other, running straight to Nikki's apartment.

"What's going on?" Nikki answered the door after all of us knocked repeatedly on her door.

"Serenity's missing!" we all yelled. Nikki's eyes widened.

"Mom!" she shrieked. A few seconds later, Mrs. Cooper appeared at the door.

"What's wrong?"

"Mom, Serenity's missing," Nikki hissed. Mrs. Cooper's eyes widened as well.

"I thought he went back to Minnesota," she whispered.

"Where could she be?" I demanded.

"Nikayla, go call the police," Mrs. Cooper commanded. "The rest of you come inside. We need to think of places he could have taken her."

The police showed up after what seemed like forever. Scarlet, Lizzy, and Sydney, who still seemed to be in shock over the whole situation, took a few of the officers to their apartment so they could analyze the crime scene.

"What's your relation to Serenity?" an officer holding a notepad asked me.

"I'm her boyfriend," I answered slowly. Ex-boyfriend? Did she really mean it when she broke up with me? No, she couldn't have. She loved me. And I loved her.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"About two hours ago," I said. "She said she was tired so she was going back up to her room."

"Is there anyone you can think of you would want to hurt Serenity?"

"Yes," I answered.

"My dad," Nikki came in.

"And your name is?" the officer turned to her.

"I'm Nikayla Cooper. Serenity and I were friends."

"Do you know why your dad wanted to hurt Serenity?"

"He kidnapped her when she was little," Nikki shook her head. "My mom and I had no idea. But Serenity said she escaped when she was twelve and frequently had nightmares about him. One day she got a note from him saying that he was coming for her and that's why she came to L.A. But then he found her again."

"He's been stalking her," I cut in. "She was so scared. I promised I wouldn't let anything happen to her."

"You couldn't have done anything," Nikki told me. She turned to the officer. "Please, just find her and bring her home safe."

"We'll do our best," he answered and walked away.

"I know where they could be!" Mrs. Cooper suddenly exclaimed. All heads turned to face her. After quickly explaining that last night, she had told Cooper that she wanted to divorce, she told us that he most likely took Serenity to the secluded beach-side cave where he had proposed to her many years back, on summer vacation from college.

"Go, go, go!" the head officer yelled to the rest of the police in the apartment.

I sprinted to the girls' apartment, grabbing Logan and Lizzy, before speeding away to the location where Serenity was supposed to be.

When we arrived, a shrill scream alerted everyone and the police barged into the cave. Screams followed.

"Mitchell Cooper, you're under arrest! Drop the gun!" Followed by a sinister cackle.

"I was done with her anyways," he chuckled. My stomach twisted inside.

Then the words I dreaded. "I need an ambulance ASAP, she's fading fast!" Logan, Lizzy, and I ran inside, stomach dropping at the side.

Serenity was lying on the floor, head cradled by an officer who was trying to calm her down. Her right shoulder was bloody, as well as two spots in her legs, small holes ripped through her clothing- gunshot wounds. Right through her chest, the handle of a knife protruded. She winced at every breath she tried to take.

"Serenity!" I breathed, running to her. We dropped to our knees and the officer passed her gently to me, placing Serenity's head in my lap.

Tears were spilling over Lizzy's cheeks, despite the fact that she was obviously trying not to cry.

_Serenity's POV_

"I-it hurts," I murmured through clenched teeth. I took several shallow breaths in my naïve attempt to ease the pain.

"You'll be ok, Serie," James whispered, enclosing my cold, clammy hand in his.

"Don't just sit there and do nothing!" Lizzy exclaimed desperately, reaching for the leather handle of the knife in my chest.

"Don't," Logan said gently, grabbing Lizzy's hand before she could reach the blade. "If we take the knife out, it'll do more harm than good for Serenity."

"But we can't just sit here and do nothing. My best friend is _dying_!" Lizzy exclaimed hysterically.

"It's ok, Liz," I whispered hoarsely.

"In what universe is you dying ok?" she asked, biting her lip when the tears fell faster.

"Maybe it's just fate getting back at me," I said, forcing a smile- despite the pain I was in.

"What?" Logan, James, and Lizzy asked in unison.

"I escaped death before. And now, it wants me back," I whispered, feeling so weak I could no longer hold my eyes open.

"No, no, no. Don't close your eyes!" James exclaimed desperately.

"But I'm so weak. I can't keep my eyes open. And I'm so tired," I murmured, leaning my head against James's arm.

"Serenity, don't close your eyes! Death can't have you!" Lizzy exclaimed desperately.

I laughed once- short, hoarse, painful.

"I don't think I have a choice, Liz," I whispered.

And I finally gave in. My body went numb. I couldn't feel the cold metal of the knife in my chest. I couldn't even feel James. I only wanted to escape- the pain, the fear… life.

And I guess… I finally did.

**:( :( :( :( :( :( Don't kill me! This story isn't done yet! Review please!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Ahhh it's been so long, I'm sorry! I have a whole big list of excuses though! I had cheer camp, then I was in Disneyland, and then Fanfiction wouldn't let me log in.. and it was just a big old mess. But I'm BACK! So sorry for the long wait after that awful cliffhanger. Here's the next chapter :) **

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 21**

_James's POV_

Empty. That's all there was to explain this.

Lizzy was bawling; kneeling over the bloody ground where Serenity's body once lay. Logan was trying his best to be strong and comfort Lizzy, but I could see his silent tears.

Meanwhile, I was sitting away from them, unable to cry, unable to feel. I couldn't get myself to believe that she was gone. The paramedics told me that there was still a chance to save her life and that I shouldn't give up hope. But hope was all I was running on and even that was running on empty.

I couldn't stand the _nothing_ I felt. I had never felt so alone.

Knowing the inevitable was what killed me the most. Knowing I would never see her beautiful face again, knowing that if I had only been a few seconds earlier, I could have saved her life, knowing that I'd never feel her sweet kiss on my lips…

She was so guarded, so afraid of love. It was adorable, the way she cautiously held my hand and hesitated before she hugged me- but when she did, she held me like I was all she had to hold onto. But I guess, in a way, I was.

I'd never find a girl like her again. And it killed me inside.

"James," Lizzy said, her voice cracking slightly and the pain obvious in the way she choked out my name.

I looked up at her. Her eyes were red and puffy and her tear-stained cheeks were pink.

"We should go to the hospital," Logan said, saving his girlfriend from having to talk anymore through her pain.

"Why?" I asked dully. 'We already know what's waiting for us there."

Lizzy started crying again.

"Come on, James," Logan hissed. "Kendall and Carlos will want to know what happened."

The car ride was fast. Streetlights and cars passed by in a blur. Before I knew it, we were at the hospital. As fast as my now numb body could take me, I pushed past everyone in my way and ran to the reception desk.

"How may I help you?" the blonde woman asked.

"My girlfriend," I exclaimed breathlessly. "She was brought into the emergency room a few minutes ago. Where is she?"

"Slow down, dear. What's her name and why is she here?"

"Serenity Dawn; stab wound to the chest and multiple gunshot wounds. She's dying! Please, tell me where she is!" I exclaimed frantically.

"She will be brought into room 14B once she is out of the emergency room. You are free to wait for her there."

"Thank you!" I called as I ran towards the hospital room she would be in.

It felt like hours before the doctor finally walked in.

"I'm sorry, kids, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait outside while we set everything up. This will just take a moment," the doctor said.

"'Just a moment.' What was he talking about?" I exclaimed impatiently.

"James, I want to see her as much as you do but come in. It's been one minute," Lizzy said, who has stopped crying when we entered the hospital.

"Sorry," I muttered. Finally the doctor came out, telling us we could see her now.

"She lost a lot of blood and she's in a very heavy coma,"

"We can handle it, Doctor. Just tell us," Logan whispered.

"I think you shouldn't leave anything unspoken. This is never easy." He was silent for a moment. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he sighed and said, "Prepare for the worst."

Lizzy's tears started up again.

"I'll call Kendall," Logan whispered, his eyes glazing over with tears.

I nodded in reply and loked over to where Serenity lay. She looked so ghostly. Her face was abnormally pale and her eyes were dark. Her blood-stained black hair softly encircled her face. She was so innocent. It broke my heart.

"How could anyone do this to you?" I asked, gently cradling her cheek in one hand.

For the longest time, nothing seemed real. Kendall, Carlos, Katie, Mama Knight, Nikki, Scarlet, and Sydney had all flooded in at one time. The hospital room was crowded, and I was getting a bit claustrophobic.

"Wow, big crowd. She's a lucky one, isn't she," a nurse said, entering the room.

"If she lives," Katie said bitterly. Mama Knight scolded her.

"Well, I'm sorry but visiting hours are over. I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

Tearful good-byes were sent Serenity's way as we made our way out of the hospital room.

"Please be ok," I silently begged. "Please."

_The next day…_

"James, we just got a call," Logan said, shaking me awake. After not being able to sleep until 5:30 this morning and it being only 7:00, I was too tired to care.

"Take a message," I mumbled.

"It's from the hospital!"

"I don't want to hear it," I hissed.

"Yes, you do."

"No, I really don't. Go away, Logan."

"James…Serenity's gone."

**:O :O :O So sad so sad :( Poor James.. One more chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Review please :) **


	22. Chapter 22

**Two chapters in one day!? I must really love you guys! I'm listening to the Jonas Brothers right now.. My childhood 3 This is the last chapter! AHHH!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 22**

_One Year Later…._

There she was… I held my favorite picture of Serenity in my hand. Her long dark hair was curled and her perfect pink lips were curved up in a smile. It was one of those artsy pictures that all girls seemed to be into; the sunlight was in the upper left corner and brought a gorgeous glow to the rest of her face.

In my other hand was my all-time favorite picture. It was of Serenity and myself. We were laughing about something, you could tell by the grin on our faces. I had one arm wrapped tightly around her waist and the other holding her hair back from her face.

"Where are you?" I whispered. "It's been a whole year already."

"James!" a high-pitched voice shrieked. I groaned and quickly hid the pictures under my pillow.

"Hey, Tam," I sighed, covering my face with my hands as I collapsed back against my pillow.

"What are you still doing here, silly? Wake up! It's our 6-month-iversary!"

"Six months already?" I thought.

"Yes! Now get up! You're supposed to have something special planned for me!" she shrieked.

"_I guess I said that out loud. My bad," _I thought.

"Oh, um, yeah," I stuttered, realizing I had no plans for a 6 month anniversary with anyone but Serenity.

"Good! So where are you taking me?" Tamera asked excitedly, sitting next to me on the bed and almost laying on top of me. Her dark brown eyes looked at me expectantly and her red-lipstick-covered lips slowly turned into a frown when I didn't answer.

A little too uncomfortably, I pushed her springy brown locks back and said, "It's a surprise."

"Ooh, I love surprises!" she squealed. "Especially expensive ones."

"I know you do. Go down to the lobby. I'll meet you there in a few."

"Alright. Bye Jamie-poo!" she exclaimed, kissing my cheek.

I groaned as I got out of bed.

"James," Logan said.

"Yeah?" I asked, stopping before heading out the door.

"It's different now," he whispered.

"I know," I answered.

"No. I mean, it's _different_. You know we support whoever it is you fall for; whoever it is you date. But you know we don't like her," Logan said.

"You're just saying that because you liked Serenity so much," I answered, trying to disguise the obvious pain in my voice.

"Didn't you?" Carlos asked quietly. "What was wrong with Serenity? You said you'd love her forever but obviously not."

"Nothing was wrong with her! I _loved_ her!" I exclaimed.

"Then how did you move on so fast?" Kendall challenged.

"What was I supposed to do Kendall? Live on the rest of my life bitter and alone? She's dead! That's all there is to it," I exclaimed.

"She's not dead; she's missing," Carlos hissed. Poor kid. He never could accept it.

"She's dead. That's all there is to it," I repeated.

"Whatever, man. Go on your date," Logan said.

In a way, I was glad. Any more talk about Serenity would have made me start crying like a little girl.

"There you are, babe!" Tam said, jumping up from her seat in the lobby.

"Hey," I answered.

"So where are we going?"

"Um," I stuttered. _"Oh crap, I didn't plan any where to go!"_

"James, James, James, James, James, James, James!" Carlos's voice echoed through the lobby before it finally appeared next to me, along with Carlos bear hugging me.

"What, Carlos?" I asked, slightly irritated. "I'm kind of on a date!"

Logan and Kendall came through the lobby, whooping and hollering with huge grins across their faces.

Carlos, Logan and Kendall looked at each other before turning to be and screaming in unison, "They found Serenity!"

I froze. I couldn't talk, couldn't see, couldn't breath.

"James? James!" Tam shrieked, waving her hand in front of my face.

"What?" I asked, slightly irritated at her.

"Who the heck is Serenity?" she hissed.

"My girlfriend," I said, smiling the biggest I had in a long, long time. At that point, I didn't even care what Tamara thought.

"Girlfriend? I'm your girlfriend!" she shrieked.

"Nope," I said. "She's been missing and now she's back. Sorry, Tam."

"No time!" Kendall screamed. "She's at the hospital; we need to go!"

I ran out before all of them; a wide grin spread across my face.

"_I'm coming, Serenity. I'm coming,"_ I thought.

**NOTHING BUT A MEMORY IS NOW COMPLETE! First chapter of the next book will be uploaded sometime (hopefully) soon. Thanks so much to all of my amazing readers and to everyone who reviewed! Special thanks to fabuluslyfamous for giving me Scarlet, If life was a movie for giving me Sydney, AveryPotterFangirl for giving me Nikki, and AlaineAlthea for giving me Lizzy! Stay tuned for the next book! I think it's going to be called Come Back to Me... Review please :) **


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